3 Types of “No” Every Entrepreneur Should Learn (and How to Thrive From Rejection)

Rejection can be powerful. The word “no” has a special purpose in the business world and especially in entrepreneurship. Every founder and innovator has probably heard it a thousand times. When approached with the right mindset, saying “No” can be a driving force to move a company forward. Saying “no” can help you improve your ideas, fill in blind spots, and even protect you from relationships and partnerships that would not have been good for you or your business.

When I was younger, I wore my heart on my sleeve, which meant any rejection was noticeable to those around me. Rejection shook me easily, and as a result I spent a lot of energy trying to change people’s minds or prove them wrong. I don’t recommend this approach. Not only did it not work, but it sapped my energy. That other people’s words could shake me, control my feelings, and shape my behavior was a problem. Consider this: when your brain is occupied with constant counter-arguments and feelings of insult at every rejection you receive, how can you possibly have room to listen and learn? You can not.

Eventually, I became more curious about the types of rejections I received. Not all rejection is created equal, and being able to spot the difference can empower you to be an effective decision-maker and sustained leader. Over the years I’ve identified three types of “no”: the ignorant “no”, the busy “no”, and the thoughtful “no”.

See also: Rejection is part of entrepreneurship. Here’s how to deal with it.

The Ignorant “No”

That kind of “no” comes from a person who doesn’t understand your industry and won’t put the energy into it. People’s ability to understand new ideas is limited by their own experiences. Not everyone you approach will be able to digest data about new ventures or pursue abstract ideas that don’t already exist. Take, for example, the newly retired telecom executive I met for drinks at the San Diego Port. He was looking for new investments, but after my pitch he looked me straight in the eye and told me my business would never be successful. My younger self would have been hurt by his rejection, but I knew he just didn’t understand the financial and billing structure of healthcare and therefore didn’t understand the innovation I was presenting to him. It wasn’t personal.

The Busy “No”

This is a person who is so busy, both on their calendar and in their head, that they don’t have time to learn new ideas. They are overburdened by their multitasking and no longer have the capacity for new thinking. I met an investor in Barcelona who was like that. During our meeting I could see the beads of sweat on his face and his hands shaking. This guy was planning and coordinating other things during our time (actually quite rude). After my seven-minute pitch, he suggested that I change my entire business model, handed me his business card, and asked me to get in touch when “the job was done.” At first I found this exchange confusing, but then I realized: He hadn’t been listening. Not Yes, really. His mind was obviously elsewhere. I attribute that “no,” like any busy “no,” to bad timing and move on.

The ignorant and busy “no’s” aren’t worth your energy. Don’t allow yourself to analyze them or allow them to direct your behavior. It’s important not to judge the “no” or the person saying it. Just accept that they are not the right fit and move on. However, the thoughtful “no” is the treasure.

See also: A 4-Step Plan to Survive Investor Rejection

The thoughtful “no”

That “no” comes from someone who is curious about your ideas, asks smart questions, makes time for you, and shows interest and empathy. It’s also likely that this person already knows the industry or is willing to learn it with you. An example that comes to mind is a major contract that I didn’t sign. We were in negotiations with a huge US company to enter into a co-marketing partnership. It would have been a huge challenge for our small company, but it was a lot of work. After months of careful consideration, one of their executives invited me to dinner and broke the news: we wouldn’t be working together. He rightly pointed out that our respective companies were not equal and that my team could not withstand the pressure to meet all the demands, maneuvers and commitments. I was devastated. But he was right, and Not Partnering with them has allowed my business to thrive in a different way. I will always be grateful for his rejection.

Over time, your radar will be fine-tuned for the types of “no.” If you get a thoughtful “No” then you can recognize it as a gift. You will use your entrepreneurial superpower and focus your full attention on learning what these people have to say. What makes them think your idea might not work out the way you planned? What data and experiences do they have that you could learn from? What can you do differently or better?

Also see: Rejection Stories from 8 of the World’s Most Successful Entrepreneurs and Executives

In the early days of entrepreneurship, saying “no” can sting. Rejection feels deeply personal because your business is deeply personal. Entrepreneurs are proud and passionate people, and it’s normal to go all out with your idea or product. You have probably made great sacrifices to build your business. Long nights, time away from family, and financial insecurity are all part of the experience.

The lore of entrepreneurship can sometimes lead people to believe that great companies are born overnight, and that’s just not true. Leaders who eventually succeed face obstacles at first – sometimes for years – and yet that doesn’t seem to deter them. You’ll be persistent despite rejection, but you’ll also understand the different types of “no’s” and how to act after a “no.” When used properly, saying “no” can accelerate growth for you and your dream.