Lifetimes: Big-hearted man ‘knew how to make friends’
Val Usiski met Lorne Rotar in 1987 at a wedding in Timmins, Ontario. She was from Rainy River and Lorne had traveled from Kitchener, but the hundreds of miles that separated them geographically wouldn’t be an obstacle if he asked her to dance—she felt all tingly, like a teenager.
But they weren’t teenagers. Both were married and divorced. They each had two children from their first marriage.
“He asked me to dance and I felt weird,” Val said. “I felt butterflies.”
After that first dance, Lorne strode across the floor to ask her for another one, but she refused, claiming to be tired. Val felt awful watching him return to his seat, slumped and embarrassed at the rejection. By the time she worked up the courage to ask him to dance, the band had already closed for the night.
“I asked the musicians to play another song,” she recalls. “And I asked Lorne to dance.”
As the night wore on, the two exchanged phone numbers and Lorne told her she could call him anytime. He later joked that his phone was already ringing when he got to his Kitchener apartment.
And so their relationship began, despite enduring long breakups. Almost 1,700 kilometers separate Kitchener and Rainy River.
“There were a lot of plane tickets. He had to fly up,” she said. “Letters went back and forth and we spoke on the phone every evening.”
Eventually, Val moved to Kitchener with her children, Blake and Kristi Usiski. Lorne sold his condo and had a home built in Kitchener for his new blended family. The couple married in 1990.
Lorne never saw a difference between his children, Karen and Kelly, and their children, Kristi and Blake, Val said. As far as he was concerned, they were all his children, and he refused to use the term “stepchildren.”
Blake was only seven when they married when his mother met Lorne. He always remembered how his mother smiled, so happy. “That’s when my life changed,” Blake said.
“I looked at him more as a father than my real father,” he said. “He was always there for me.
“He really was the best man in the world, always family-oriented. Family always came first.”
There was no such thing as a children’s table at any celebration. Everyone sat together, children equally involved.
What Val would like everyone to know about Lorne was his kindness and natural cheerfulness, even though his early life was marked by heartbreak.
Lorne was born in Timmins on September 16, 1940, one of two children. His father, Sam Rotar, had fought in World War II and returned a changed man, distant with his children. His mother Olympia died of cancer when Lorne was in her twenties. Sam remarried, but by this time Lorne was already on her own, working in production at the Timmins Daily Press. Newspapers would be Lorne’s passion, his escape from life’s pain.
From Timmins he moved to the Cambridge Reporter. In 1965 he accepted a job with The Waterloo Region Record, where he held various positions for three decades, including assistant production manager. Lorne was the guy who got to know everyone. He was always the one with the big smile, walking down the hall, eager to catch up with someone.
Retired Records reporter Dave Pink was a close friend.
“Lorne had a big personality,” Pink said. “He knew how to make and maintain friends.”
Pink describes Lorne as non-judgmental, always in a good mood, even after a heart bypass and later a cancer diagnosis. He suffered but never showed it.
“He taught us to always look on the bright side, no matter how bad things got,” said daughter Karen Rotar.
“When I needed advice on life’s challenges, Dad was there to guide you through whatever life throws at us.”
A hockey player, skier and Ukrainian dancer in his youth, Lorne became an exceptional golfer in his later years and always supported his children in whatever ventures they chose.
Lorne retired from The Record’s production department at the age of 55 and then became an independent contractor, delivering papers to the shippers. Next he owned and operated a courier company working primarily for the record. Lorne fully retired at 75.
Former boss Dave Zwaniga called Lorne “a first class employee and person”.
Lorne could be stubborn, but in the end, when a decision was made, Lorne was fully committed, even if the deciding vote wasn’t going his way, Zwaniga said.
Lorne died on September 20, shortly after his 82nd birthday. For the funeral, Val chose Anne Murray’s “Could I Have This Dance.”
“It was our song,” she said.