How to Cope with the Stress of IVF | SBM

Joanna Buscemi, PhD, Depaul University

If you’re about to embark on an in vitro fertilization (IVF) journey, you might be feeling a little overwhelmed. The process is fraught with stressors, including concerns about the cost, the IVF process itself, and whether the procedure will be successful – all while tackling day-to-day commitments. Your decision to undergo IVF may also follow significant medical and pregnancy loss trauma and/or years of infertility. Coping with this trauma while embarking on intensive medical care with an uncertain outcome is a lot to deal with.

While stress is an unavoidable part of IVF, there are strategies to help you through it. Here is a non-exhaustive list of tips to help you better manage the stress of IVF:

Take one step at a time. The IVF process is overwhelming. It starts with lots of baseline appointments, discussions about insurance coverage, and treatment decisions that need to be made before starting a cycle. This is followed by numerous drugs that you may not understand how to use, appearing at your door, each requiring a different preparation. Unless you are a doctor yourself, mixing medicines or filling syringes will likely be a new task, and this can be difficult to learn while dealing with the myriad emotions associated with fertility treatment. It’s important that you try to work through the checklist item by item rather than getting overwhelmed by the number of steps required from start to finish.

Prioritize self-care. Most of the time, normal life goes on during your IVF cycle and coping with the demands of IVF along with other stressors can be difficult. While research shows that stress does not have a significant impact on IVF success, your well-being is reason enough to prioritize self-care. It’s especially important to take time before, during and after your IVF cycle to be kind to yourself. What activities do you like to do? What brings you joy? What activities make you feel loved and cared for? Prioritize time for these activities as much as possible.

practice stress tolerance. The uncertainty of IVF at every stage makes it difficult to feel comfortable. There are techniques that can help you accept the discomfort that comes with losing control and unpredictability. Although coping with distress can be difficult, it is an important exercise that can lead to better overall distress tolerance in the future. Here you will find concrete strategies for stress tolerance.

Find your best 1-2 social supporters, preferably other people who understand the stress of IVF. IVF is personal and can feel like a lonely journey. It can be helpful to build a small but reliable and helpful network of people who have gone through the IVF process themselves. Although their treatment protocols and experiences may differ from yours, it can be very helpful to have a few people willing to listen to how you are feeling or share their perspective.

Find a therapist who provides evidence-based care for people with fertility issues. Therapists specializing in infertility and/or miscarriage and fertility treatments are hard to find but the absolute best experts to help you on your fertility journey. If you cannot find someone who specializes in infertility and/or miscarriage, it is important to find someone who is trained in cognitive behavioral therapy and evidence-based trauma interventions. Consider asking your fertility doctor for referrals.

Be wary of IVF groups on social media. It can be tempting to join social media groups to seek support. Sometimes these groups can be helpful. In other cases, they stir up fears with pregnancy announcements or stories about failed transmissions. They can also be a source of misinformation related to fertility. For example, some IVF groups insist that eating a pineapple seed or drinking pomegranate juice increases your chances of a successful embryo transfer. While none of these behaviors will harm you, it is highly unlikely that they will affect your chances of success at all. These groups sometimes lead to social comparisons that are not always helpful. Every treatment plan is unique and results vary drastically. Become aware of how engaging with these posts makes you feel, and then decide whether they are helpful or harmful.

Remember that stress does not affect IVF or pregnancy outcomes. Navigating the IVF process is stressful enough. Worrying that your stress will result in a failed IVF cycle or harm your pregnancy only adds to the overall stress. While using coping strategies to manage stress is a good idea, worrying about your stress levels is not a good idea. When you’re under stress, show yourself some compassion and remind yourself that this is difficult. It’s okay to feel the weight of this difficulty as you move through the process.

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