A Psychologist Teaches You How To Tap Into An ‘Endless Possibilities’ State Of Mind

Many people come to therapy feeling like their life has come to a complete standstill. You can say things like:

  • “I feel like I’m in the exact same place I was five years ago.”
  • “I just can’t see how it’s supposed to get any better for me.”
  • “All my friends are moving on with their lives, but I feel like I’m stuck in quicksand.”
  • “I can’t find the energy I need to bring about the changes I want to make.”

Here I’ll talk about three strategies to help you break out of a mental rut and face life with a new sense of panache and vigor.

#1. Learn to strengthen your inner confidence

Many of us have a misconception about self-confidence. We believe that confidence, like other personality traits like extraversion or neuroticism, is something you either have or don’t have.

But that’s just not true. Confidence is earned through a process of experimentation, maturation, and learning from your mistakes. So instead of seeing yourself as a hopelessly insecure person, consider building your confidence bit by bit.

For example, if your goal is to meet new people, start small by meeting a few of your closest friends. Next, you can join a friend at an event where you’ll have a chance to meet some new people. You can also check out some free events, happy hours, or other social gatherings to see where it takes you.

Sure, there can be a few awkward moments. But if you stick with it, you might be surprised at how what used to seem intimidating now feels bearable and maybe even funny.

The point is that you shouldn’t let your fear inhibit your forward movement. When you start feeling this way (and we all do), just remember the basics: start small and build your confidence from there. New possibilities will inevitably open up.

#2. Don’t walk out of a “yes” situation with “no”.

There is certainly a time and place to say no to activities and events to which we are invited. The fact that you have the wherewithal to choose how you spend your time is a sign that you have healthy boundaries.

However, there comes a point (and most of us have experienced it) when we find ourselves too quick to say no to new opportunities. We may be going through a breakup or dealing with some other type of loss.

Psychologists discourage the tendency to tunnel inward when we experience adversity, as it can have serious consequences for our mental health.

If you find yourself acting this way, do your best to flip at least a few of the no’s (“No, I don’t want to go to this party” or “No, I can’t go to this happy hour”). to yes. It’s amazing how even one or two instances of changing a no to a yes can make all the difference and maybe completely change your life.

Psychological research confirms this. A study published in the Personality Research Journal showed that small changes in your everyday life, such as organizing your workplace or creating to-do lists, can lead to your personality becoming permanently more conscientious. Small changes can compound over time to create a completely different version of you.

#3. Note the (age) difference

Have you ever heard a person younger than you talk about their dreams and aspirations as if anything is possible? Do you know old people who seem to keep reinventing themselves?

Use these examples as inspiration to get your wheels spinning again. It’s never too late to make a change—whether it’s moving to a new city, going back to school, starting a family at any age, repairing a broken relationship, or starting a second (or third) to start a career. Anything is possible if you don’t give up your mind to keep learning.

It could even be argued that being a “late bloomer” can sometimes be more beneficial than jumping in at the deep end at a relatively tender age. If you’re older than your peers at any stage in life, you likely bring a unique and more experienced perspective with you.

And finally, no two people ever make the same journey in their lifetime. Thinking you’ve passed your prime just because of a number is a huge disadvantage.

Having seen and lived more is trump. Use it well.

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