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The answer to that is a bit tricky. The good news is that there’s a good chance the Quasimodo-looking creature staring at you in your selfies isn’t an accurate representation of the real You. But your mirror isn’t entirely honest either.
Below is a scientific breakdown that might explain those embarrassing tagged photos of you:
The mirror is a reflection. It’s not the real you.
Although we’re most comfortable and comfortable with the face staring at us as we brush our teeth in the morning, the mirror isn’t really who we really are. It’s a reflection, so it shows how we look in reverse. Because we’re so used to seeing the inverted version of ourselves, it can be harrowing to see how we look in pictures. And unless you’re blessed with a perfectly symmetrical face, the photo version of you can be even shakier.
“We see ourselves in the mirror all the time — you brush your teeth, you shave, you put on makeup,” said Pamela Rutledge, director of the Media Psychology Center The Atlantic. “Looking at yourself in the mirror becomes a solid impression. You have that familiarity. Familiarity breeds sympathy. You’ve developed a liking for that facial expression.”
Scientists call this the “mere exposure” effect. Basically, it’s a behavior invented by psychologist Robert Zajonc that says people respond positively to things they’re most familiar with. So when you see an inverted version of yourself, you immediately hate it or even find it grotesque because it’s the opposite of what you’re used to.
Although we think we look better in a mirror, psychologically we’re more inclined to feel that way, even when we look truthfully better on photos. Strange right?
The camera lens also plays a role.
So if your reflection in the mirror isn’t the real you, does that mean your ugly selfies are your “real self”? Although mirrors show an inverted version of you that softens the harshness of your asymmetries, the myth that “images never lie” is also untrue. After all, most people take more than one selfie before finding their most flattering one, and it usually takes a combination of angles, lighting, and duck lips before landing one that’s Instagram-worthy.
But the problem might not be your angles, it might be lens distortion. Due to the closeness of your face to the camera, the lens can distort certain features, making them look larger than they are in real life. Pictures also provide only a 2D version of ourselves. If you have a soft, round face, depending on your facial features, photos can flatten your features and further distort the “real” you.
For example, changing the focal length of a camera can even change the width of your head. As Gizmodo contributor John Herrman writes, the fancier the camera, the better you look in the picture:
“Telephoto lenses are usually found to be more flattering, as they give the impression that the subject is flattened and slightly compress the width of your foremost facial features, such as your nose or breasts. So maybe you should think twice before fleeing the pesky paparazzi and their fancy zoom lenses; it’s the tourist with the pocket cam whose snaps make you look fat on the internet.”
And because cameras don’t show the 3D version of you, it’s easy to “fool” cameras to depict a reality that’s not even true. Professional models have perfected this, which is why people can do such photo magic just by adjusting their angles:
It’s also the camera flash.
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Although good lighting is key to all flattering photos, a harsh flash from your iPhone can actually make you look a lot worse, especially if it’s taken in a dark room. In fact, according to OKCupid, add harsh camera flashes seven years to your face
Aside from making you look shiny and greasy, cameras can’t adjust to light and dark like our eyes naturally can. Cameras can only focus on highlights or shadows, which can sometimes result in less than flattering lighting. A good rule of thumb is to stick to natural or outdoor lighting instead.
Your smile could also be the culprit.
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Everyone knows what it’s like to pose for an awkward photo like a driver’s license or passport. The photos never look good and they hardly look like our natural smiles. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you’re relaxed, confident, and more likely to smile and act more naturally.
If someone “Say cheese!” Obviously, if you’re feeling insecure about your unphotogenic reputation, you’ll tense up and end up with a photo that looks different and alien than the version you see in the mirror. It’s best to relax while taking photos and try to focus on something else. This tense, forced awkwardness always results in a bad photo.
It is possible that you are less attractive than you think.
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But no matter how many factors you want to blame for your crappy pictures, it all boils down to psychology. Maybe you look different in pictures because the version of you you like best is a product of your imagination.
According to a 2008 study, people tend to think they are more attractive than they really are. In the experiment, the researchers Photoshopped pictures of participants to make them look more attractive, and then blended them with photos of strangers. Next, they asked subjects to choose their image from a series. People were quicker to choose photos that made them look more attractive and concluded that “attractiveness” was the version of themselves they were most comfortable with.
However, other experts have also said the opposite, that people tend to feel less attractive than they really are. Whatever the case, if you’re upset about why you look different in mirrors and pictures, there’s a good chance all your fears and anxieties are just in your head. It’s similar to how people hate the sound of their own voice. Perhaps the key to looking better in pictures is to take as many selfies as possible to get comfortable with both the “mirror” and “camera” versions of yourself.
“People who take a lot of selfies end up feeling a lot more comfortable in their own skin because they have a continuum of images of themselves and have more control over the image,” Pamela said. “Flipped or not, being able to see yourself in all these different ways is going to make them more comfortable in general.”
Or, you know, just download FaceTune. Might as well fight science with science.
This article originally appeared on 7/21/21