Here’s how to recognize the signs of classroom bullying

When a new school year begins, it can be an exciting time for many children. However, the reality is that many others fear it.

John Dinn, Workplace Mental Health Coordinator for the Canadian Mental Health Association Newfoundland and Labrador, offers both students and parents advice on how best to recognize the signs of bullying, as well as solutions and resources for students.

Discussion edited for length and clarity.

Q: First of all, what are some signs a parent or caregiver might look for that their child may be a victim of bullying?

A: There are many different signs you might notice in someone that you might not even notice [realize] are associated with bullying. You may see some self-esteem or shame issues. School performance may decline. Children who experience bullying can feel overwhelmed, depressed, and anxious. You may notice some difficulty concentrating or an inability to concentrate.

They may also start avoiding school or be reluctant to go to school. Maybe they complain [illness] such as a headache or stomach ache. You may see a loss in friends or a change in their friends.

Maybe they’re starting to spend more time on their own or in their own room. When a child goes to a new school, they could also be at risk if they don’t have their familiar support system [with] her classmates.

Q: What advice would you give to someone who suspects their child is being bullied?

A: When you are a parent, the first thing you want to do is try to control your own emotions. Remain calm and reassure your child that you are there to protect them and that their safety and well-being are your focus.

You probably want to gently elicit some information from the child about what is going on, [get] names and facts. A child may be reluctant to talk about it at first, so you should be careful not to escalate the issue for them.

Let them know you’re there to support them, but encourage them to act first. Find ways for them to solve problems themselves. Is there anyone you could talk to at school? Of course you have to assess the seriousness of the situation. Do you want to communicate openly with your child? [as] You may need to get involved.

Perhaps you could act out some scenarios with your child on how to deal with the situation. You may need to address the other parents. You may need to contact the teacher and work your way up to admin if it’s something that sticks.

At the end of the day, you want to reassure your child that they are not alone. Check back often and show your support. Let them know they can talk to you about it. A child is often very embarrassed about the situation, so you don’t want them to deal with it on their own.

Q: Bullies often work with an audience, which can lead to embarrassment. What can people of all ages do to watch better?

A: I would suggest that the term we should use now is “up-stander”. Being an “up-stander” means being someone who is a proactive viewer. Instead of ignoring the bullying, help the bullied child. Tell a teacher, coach or the school counselor. Maybe even go with them. support her Help talk to an adult. Use your voice. Be a friend to the victim. Don’t go along with it and don’t ostracize the person. Lead the victim away from the situation.

Do not repeat rumors or harmful messages. Feel free to tell the bully to stop. Be aware of bullying policies in schools. Refuse to be a spectator. Don’t interfere in the situation.

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