How to Build Resilience as a Person With Diabetes
By Amelia Harnish
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. From a data control worker to a therapist to a nurse, three women with diabetes practice resilience to navigate the many ups and downs of living with diabetes.
Jai Stubblefield knows firsthand how debilitating diabetes can be. The 45-year-old data control worker from Little Rock, Arkansas was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 1995. Since then, she’s had many experiences with the many ups and downs of living with diabetes: insurance issues, medication changes, the ever-present need to plan meals, and (once again) explaining her health needs at work.
But over the years, she’s learned that the key to rising above anything is a little thing called resilience.
“That’s 90 percent of diabetes,” Stubblefield says. “Your mind is powerful, and sometimes when you’re feeling a certain way, your whole body will feel that way.”
“Put simply, ‘resilience’ is the ability to bounce back from stress or adversity,” said Lesley Koeppel, a New York-based therapist who specializes in counseling people with chronic illness. When it comes to diabetes, there are many setbacks to overcome. But research shows that those who have higher resilience tend to have lower A1C scores and improved quality of life.
“People think you’re either resilient or you’re not, but you can work towards that. Resilience is like a muscle – you can build it,” said Koeppel. Several studies prove this.
A 2018 study found that learning how to become more resilient helps young adults with diabetes control their blood sugar. Another study from 2022 showed that people with diabetes and low exercise tolerance were at higher risk of higher blood sugar levels.
Improving your resilience is possible. Here are four ways you can build resilience as a person with diabetes.
Allow yourself to be sad, angry, or frustrated
That might sound counterintuitive, but being resilient doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions, says Koeppel. In fact, in her experience, the first step to “recovering” from a setback or stressful situation is to allow yourself to feel those negative emotions—and then let them go.
“A big mistake is to think that resilience only permeates,” explained Koeppel. “To build resilience, you have to acknowledge the sadness and pain you’re feeling.” This can be especially important for those who have new diabetes. “The first step is to grieve and grieve over this big change in your life,” Shel added.
Be open about your struggles
For Stubblefield, one of the most stressful parts of living with diabetes is dealing with misunderstandings.
“With type 2 diabetes, there’s a stereotype that it’s easy or that it’s the ‘mild’ type of diabetes,” she said. “It really helps for me to be open about how hard it can be. I’m not the only person involved in this.”
You can often find her on Twitter sharing her thoughts and what she wishes people knew about type 2 diabetes. “I’m very blunt because I want people to understand,” Stubblefield said.
Being open about what you’re going through can help you build resilience because it can help you let go of negative emotions. It can also help you find support from others.
If you don’t like sharing on an open forum like Stubblefield does, try finding a support group.
“There’s nothing quite as powerful as being in a room or on a zoom with other people who are going through the exact same thing as you,” Koeppel said. “Support is key.”
Research has also supported the benefits of social support. A 2017 study followed 471 adolescents with type 1 diabetes and found that those who displayed more “diabetic strength behaviors,” such as living.
Create a routine – step by step.
“When it comes to managing diabetes, developing healthy habits like meal planning and exercise can also help build resilience,” explained Jennifer Schwartz, a Miami-based registered nurse and certified diabetes educator.
“Whether you have diabetes or not, everyone needs self-care, but with diabetes, those things are even more important because if you don’t do them, it can do a lot of damage,” she said.
Routines are important for resilience because they can provide some sense of control over your daily life. When you feel more in control, you’re less likely to experience the daily stress caused by the things you can’t control (like getting stuck in traffic, dealing with your insurance company, or just having a bad day ), overwhelmed.
Stubblefield does all of her meal planning and prep for the coming week on Sundays.
“I make breakfast, lunch and dinner,” she says. “It’s not always easy, but it makes the week a lot easier. When I come home from work and don’t feel well, dinner is already taken care of. I don’t have to think about it.”
It can be difficult to develop and stick to a routine.
“Make one small change at a time,” Schwartz said. “If you make changes slowly, you’re more likely to develop long-term habits. Any healthy change makes you feel better, which helps you stick with it.”
So, for example, if you’re not ready to cook a full meal, just try changing up your breakfast. “Take one meal at a time,” she said.
Check your mental health as well as your physical health
A big part of building resilience is taking the time to de-stress.
“You need to control your diabetes, but you also need to enjoy your life and not always obsess over what you eat and your numbers,” Schwartz said. Taking the time to check how you’re doing mentally is just as important as making sure you’re doing physically.
It’s also important to make sure your diabetes isn’t running the show. “Diabetes is a 24/7 management thing,” Stubblefield said. “I struggled with being afraid of food.” To manage her stress, Stubblefield enjoys listening to music at work and going for walks every day. These habits help her not get into a place of overwhelm.
Support is also key to coping with stress. Koeppel recommends finding out what kind of support you need.
“There are people who need that kind of cheerleading support. They want someone to say, ‘It’s okay that you get through this.'” Koeppel said. “Others get angry about it. They want someone who will just let them vent and listen. You have to know yourself and what works for you.”
For more information on diabetes resilience, see: Is diabetes resilience a muscle you can build?