How to Embrace Your Body as It Changes, According to Mental Health Experts

When you are an athlete, no matter the level, your body adapts to the sport you play. It carries the effects of your hard work – your muscles build to boast of time under exertion. The more you specialize in a sport, the more your body reflects it.

But if you’re recovering from an injury, are getting off the sport, have just had a baby, have gained weight, lost muscle, or are just getting older, your body can change. Some people accept the changes well. But it’s very common for active people and athletes to feel frustrated with the changes they’re experiencing for a variety of reasons.

So how do you deal with it? We spoke to two experts who shared insights on how to embrace and appreciate your body at all stages of life.

A change in weight, strength, or mobility means different movement patterns, inability to perform, and of course, a different appearance.

Melissa Streno, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified mental performance consultant at Lantern Psychology who specializes in exercise psychology and body image issues, says she constantly confronts clients with this topic.

“I think part of that is that these athletes grew up so ingrained and embedded in the sports culture and routine and structure that it becomes a part of their identity,” she tells LIVESTRONG.com. “So when they’re getting out of the sport or taking a break, when that identity has been so wrapped up in athletics — and not just competing and training, but the body image component — the expectations of how they’re supposed to look, the pressures of how others you see, it’s really hard to adapt to these changes.”

It’s important to check with yourself to find out why you’re having a difficult time with your body. For some people, it’s less about the actual physical changes and more about what those changes represent.

Athletes often embrace their sporting identities without taking the time to figure out who or what else they are. While you may think it’s the number on the scale that gives you grief, at your core it could be something more. Do you mourn an identity that no longer fits your current stage in life? Who are you other than an athlete?

“I treat it like a grieving process,” says Streno. “There are the same stages of grief in terms of denial, negotiation, anger, and acceptance. It’s a good framework to use because I think athletes really relate to losing a part of who they are. People describe it as being thrown off a cliff without support. Like, “What am I doing? Who am I without exercise?” It’s a real challenge.”

But it can also be an exciting stepping stone to finding who you are outside of the sport, says Streno.

Too often people get stuck in a cycle of trying to “get back” to their former, “fitter” body. It may seem like a normal and healthy idea. You want to lose some weight or gain some muscle mass, so what’s the harm?

If you find yourself thinking this way, ask yourself why. Why do you want to go back to this body? When it’s all about aesthetics, which is usually the case, that can be problematic.

“In the society we live in, we’re so focused on looks,” says Streno. “I think that can be so superficial, and that never reflects who someone is at their core. So it’s important to realize that you may be choosing to fight for a body that you don’t need to be in or isn’t really where your body naturally wants to be. If you choose to fight, it becomes miserable and it’s just unsustainable.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg, LCSW-R, CEDS, a sports psychotherapist, agrees.

“It ends up being an uphill battle for the rest of your life,” she tells LIVESTRONG.com. “So tune in and ask yourself, ‘Who are you doing this for?’ is important. Ask yourself if having this body type really aligns with your values ​​and the things that drive you.

Others might feel like they’re trying to go back to their old body so they can feel better about their chosen sport. For example, if someone who is recovering after giving birth wants to walk again but finds their new body has new pains, they might long for their pre-birth body. While this is perfectly normal, it might be more confident to give yourself a break.

“If your activity isn’t really not fun because it doesn’t feel good, then find something else to do,” says Roth-Goldberg. “Change into something thatdoesFeeling good – even if it’s temporary – will help your body and mind as you get back to what you really want to do.

In the context of grief, acceptance is the final stage. Accepting your new body is an important step in being at peace with yourself — but that doesn’t mean you have to repeat disingenuous positive affirmations about how much you love your body. At the same time, you don’t have to be ashamed that you don’t meet the standards you set yourself.

“I want to remind people to talk to themselves like they’re talking to a good friend,” says Roth-Goldberg. “That means be kind and understanding.”

Next, it is important to acknowledge the fact that you may experience discomfort or a sense of unfamiliarity in your body and that this is normal. It is also important at this stage to check some facts.

Are you actually carrying too much weight? A doctor or nutritionist can help you with what you want to address from a health perspective and support you to move and refuel in this new season of your life. Once this is established, the work on true acceptance can begin.

“I like to work from a body-neutral perspective,” says Streno. “For me, it represents that idea of ​​trying to define what a body is and working toward asking and answering questions like, ‘What does my body stand for? What do I appreciate about my body? What does my body let me do?’ The hope is that a person will get to the point where they realize they might be okay with their body. They say, ‘I don’t have to love him all the time, but I have a strong foundation of acceptance.'”

It’s important to note that fighting where your current body wants to be naturally can lead to diet restriction, over-exercise, and other harmful behaviors.

“When you look at your diet and exercise habits and realize that you’ve been striving to look a certain way or be a certain weight for years and you’re never happy, you have to understand that it may never be enough “, says Streno. “And you don’t want to jeopardize your health.”

A trained professional familiar with impaired body image can help you redefine what “healthy” or “fit” should mean to you. You might also be able to untangle some other issues that might be contributing to the body image issue. Streno says she sees people who focus on weight or strength but ultimately try to fill another void in life.

“When we desire something different or feel like we’re not connected to or achieving something that we really want, we use something else that gives us at least temporary relief,” she says. “The keyword is temporary. When you’re on that merry-go-round, ask yourself how reaching a certain weight would make you happy. What would it bring to your life? And then what are you looking for? is it a relationship Is it another job? Is it a different place? Because usually something else is missing, and you use your body as a tool to get there.”

A psychiatrist can help resolve body image issues and all the associated thought traps. Getting help is the first step to moving to a more fulfilling place, no matter what your body looks like.