How to set boundaries with toxic people: 4 essential tips for you

We all have a need for personal space—we need alone time to recharge our batteries, time with friends to unwind, and time with family to feel loved and supported. However, there are some people in our lives who constantly violate our personal space and make us feel drained. These people just can’t shake off and it’s hard not to respond. However, there are ways to handle this situation gracefully. So if you’re wondering how to set and keep boundaries with these people, get to know it!

It starts with realizing where our limits lie. If we’re not sure where to start, here are some questions to ask:

* What makes me uncomfortable?
* What makes me feel used?
* Why don’t I feel respected?
* What makes me feel unappreciated?

Answering these questions helps you better understand your needs and provides a starting point for setting boundaries. If people in our lives aren’t respecting the boundaries we’ve set for them, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate our relationships.

There are different types of border violators, and here are three of the most common types:

The Guilt Trigger: This type of person tries to make us feel guilty to get their way.

The manipulator: Manipulators are experts at getting what they want without appearing to do anything wrong.

The Energy Vampire: Energy vampires are the type of people who leave us drained after spending time with them.

Importance of emotional boundaries
Emotional boundaries are important — whether in a toxic or non-toxic relationship. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

4 Tips for Setting Boundaries and Maintaining Them With Toxic People

dr Chandni Tugnait is an MD (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing, shares some things to keep in mind to set boundaries for healthy relationships.

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1. Know your limits

We shouldn’t let people push past us. If someone bothers us on a daily basis or asks too many questions about something, we can always think of cutting off contact for a while. It is better to do this rather than continuing the conversation continuously as it will only add more stress.

2. Communicate boundaries clearly and assertively

We can set and maintain healthy boundaries by communicating clearly. Make sure you communicate confidently and not aggressively. It’s okay to stand firm and even say “no” when someone asks us to do something that makes us uncomfortable. This also protects us from any kind of physical and emotional harm.

3. Don’t excuse their behavior

It can be tempting to find excuses for the person who is violating our boundaries. We may tell ourselves they are going through a difficult time, or they may not want to hurt us. But finding excuses for their bad behavior only makes it possible. It’s important to hold them accountable for their actions and not let them off the hook.

Learn to put your point of view in arguments
Learn to argue your point of view! Image courtesy: Shutterstock

4. Be willing to leave the relationship

This can be hard, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to move on from a toxic relationship. This doesn’t mean we have to sever ties entirely, but it does mean creating some distance between us and the person who is harming us. Sometimes this is the only way to protect us from further hurt and grief.

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It’s important to set healthy boundaries with everyone

Whether it’s a toxic family member, friend, or co-worker, they can be difficult to deal with, especially when we’re caring for them. However, it is important to remember that we always have choices about how we allow others to treat us. We don’t have to accept their bad behavior. With these simple tips, we can protect ourselves from further harm and begin to heal our own wounds and set the tone for how we want to be treated.

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