Ja Morant’s apology latest in ‘sorry’ state of affairs in sports
Phil Mushnick
Sports
same time
March 9, 2023 | 8:53 p.m
This was a good week for my hobby. I collect strange public utterances, ones that go against the speaker’s way of working. After all, people are now being paid good money – or at least a lot of money – not to make sense, and so fuel our sense of the absurd.
It’s like those interviews on Jeopardy! where, after the contestant is introduced as an astrophysicist and jungle explorer who graduated from MIT at 14, he’s asked to talk about his fascinating pastime. And it turns out to be stamp collecting.
To that end, This Week In Oddball’s public statements provoked the obvious: how much NBA star and recent overindulgent dam Ja Morant has in common with the late General Charles de Gaulle.
Apparently both were surrounded by advisors hoping they would only target those who nod, grin and then cheer in total nonsense.
In Morant’s case, his “apology” as he began a team-imposed vacation is said to be reflecting, among other things, on whether the video he posted on social media of him pointing a gun at 5:20 a.m posing at a strip club in Colorado, adheres to the NBA’s usual ignore-it standards of conduct.
Morant: “I take full responsibility for my actions last night. I feel sorry for my family, teammates, coaches, fans, partners, the city of Memphis, and the entire Grizzlies organization for letting you down.
“I will take some time to get help and work on learning better ways to manage stress and my overall well-being.”
Didn’t any of the bright minds behind that publicly released statement consider for five seconds that such words – such remorse and mature self-examination – are perversely funny?
Didn’t anyone in the public think they knew that someone capable of such thoughts, let alone actions and self-control, would not be inclined to place themselves in positions worthy of such apologies, suspensions, and perhaps soon worse?
Certainly Morant’s PR ghostwriters were inspired by de Gaulle. On August 25, 1944, entering liberated Paris after four years of Nazi occupation of the City of Lights, de Gaulle declared in French:
“Paris! Paris outraged! Paris broken! Paris martyred! But Paris liberated! Paris liberated by itself! Liberated by its people…”
Not quite. In 1940, despite an army reputed to be the best on the European continent, France surrendered faster than it could flee. De Gaulle, operating as the self-proclaimed leader of Free France – mainly from London – could not save Paris until his allies in the United Kingdom and the United States ordered blood, treasure, ordnance, food, medicine, logistics and, in the last days Gasoline, to the French.
Imagine being among the tens of thousands of British and American parents who lose their sons during operations on D-Day just to hear de Gaulle’s “Paris Liberated of Itself”.
But c’est les PR business. Written, reviewed and circulated, Morant’s “apology” brought a similarly transparent “why bother?” accompanying statement from Morant’s other employers, those at Nike. Morant had signed a deal with Nike for his own signature sneakers.
Nike: “We appreciate Ja’s responsibility and that he takes the time to get the help he needs. We support his prioritization of his well-being.”
Well, Nike had to say something. It couldn’t come out and say it actually supports the original Morant model, as it represented what Nike sells: horribly overpriced, Chinese-made street status symbols that value-hungry city kids have been consistently mugged and murdered for since the late 1980s. As if Nike had no idea.
And so the explanation of the virtuous remains in the name of their immediate need for virtue. “Thoughts and prayers. That puts everything into perspective. That’s not me” and finally “a zero tolerance policy (in most cases)”.
But these barely scratch the surface of Doozie’s collection of prepared statements in the service of sport.
For those, we turn to leaders like Roger Goodell, whose impassioned plea on behalf of civilized society and his solemn responsibility as the NFL’s chief integrity commissioner called for the NFL’s complete and permanent separation from gaming. Until the NFL and Goodell got their share.
And there will always be NBC News host Tom Brokaw. Two days before the start of the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, TWA Flight 800, JFK-Paris, exploded, killing all 230 on board. And so, from his Atlanta Olympic box office, Brokaw began NBC’s coverage with a cheerful “perspective.”
Brokaw: “The Flight 800 explosion was a tragic and unexpected start to the Games. Therefore, tonight’s opening ceremonies take on a richer meaning of healing and celebration to allay the fear and despair.”
Sure, unless you were on the NBC payroll or in the public relations business, it couldn’t have been easy portraying the sudden, violent deaths of 230 airline passengers as having “rich meaning of healing and celebration.” Most of us wouldn’t even have bothered.
Boomer & Gio have different rules for others, for themselves
WFAN and CBS Sports Network’s Gregg Giannotti Suffers from Anxiety Attacks, Even on Air? I am sorry to hear this.
Still, no radio or TV crew seems to revel in the woes of others — callers, public figures — more than Giannotti and “Weekday” Boomer Esiason. Despite their own personal and family issues, which they only address deadly seriously and for adults, everyone else is child prey.
In these hypersensitive times, it still seems impossible to me that the Boomer & Gio show didn’t receive an official sling or dart from management for the cheap, childish, and cruel humiliation of former Knicks CEO Donnie Walsh, then 80, last year has been relegated to a wheelchair due to spinal surgery.
Nothing is funnier than a man in a wheelchair. But these are modern day radio stars.
Howard Stern, whose fame and vast fortune has been built largely on disparagement and ridicule by well-known figures, demanded respect for his privacy during his divorce.
Don Imus and company laughed their heads off as they played the recording of Mike Schmidt’s tearful retirement press conference. Then Imus broke down while discussing his retirement on CBS Sunday Morning.
Again, and with sentiment, CBS has a period in former Manhattan, Villanova and Massachusetts coach Steve Lappas, one of college basketball’s best and most hidden analysts.
His calls during Saturday’s Kentucky-Arkansas game were so accurate and spontaneous – “How can that count? He was hanging with one hand on the rim and hitting with the other!” – were so perceptive that you couldn’t help but pay your full attention.
Can’t turn it off and won’t fade out. Glue.
Whose promotional patches will appear on the Yankees’ once-sacrosanct uniforms (pre-Nike Swoosh money)? As with the umps’ FTX patches, pure greed, nothing better, will determine the winner.
With his role in a shooting murder near campus unsolved, Brandon “Wrong Place, Wrong Time” Miller, a freshman from Alabama, has been named the AP’s SEC Player of the Year. The arbitral award could not be suspended pending the court result? After all, it was a murder, not an unexplained speeding ticket.