Latest ‘The Masked Singer’ reveal is adult-contemporary heartthrob in Wolf’s clothing
You’ve heard the story about the wolf in sheep’s clothing… but have you also heard the story about the lion-haired adult contemporary ballad singer in wolf’s clothing?
Well that’s the story that played out The Masked Singer‘s DC Superheroes Night Wednesday, when the wolf was revealed to be none other than two-time Grammy winner Michael Bolton.
In recent years, this “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” singer has been attracting a whole new television audience, whether through co-hosting Celebrity Dating GameRepresenting Connecticut on NBC American song contestfurther in the competition Dancing with the starsor, most notably, wearing another fantasy character costume (as well as Erin Brockovich Drag!) at Lonely Island’s SNL Digital short film “Jack Sparrow”. In fact, Bolton once told Yahoo Entertainment that the latter viral, career-boosting gig was one of his “most enjoyable, greatest experiences” and “one of the best things I’ve ever done.”
I suppose dressing up as a sparrow or a pirate would have been too obvious for Bolton this week. And it remains to be seen how high furry lupine finery attracts The Masked Singer will be on his list of professional highlights. But he seemed to have a howling time sinking his teeth into his hoarse rendition of the Doors’ “Break on Through” — which the jury’s two music experts, pop singers Robin Thicke and Nicole Scherzinger, immediately recognized its “velvety” , “sexy”, “iconic” and “unique” vocals. (Side note: I would have preferred the wolf to have played Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf,” X’s “Hungry Wolf,” Shakira’s “She Wolf,” or even “Wolf Like Me” on the radio on TV, but hey, that’s it just me .)
“I could get used to being the wolf,” admitted Bolton.
“It’s always an honor to hear you sing,” Nicole gushed after Michael’s unmasking. “Nobody does it like you do, and you still do it so gracefully and effortlessly.”
As for the other two Group B contestants who appeared on DC Superheroes Night, we’ve learned that not all heroes are wearing capes, but some of them are wearing gargoyle and squirrel cosplay. It was quite close between these two – the latter playing Charlie Puth’s “One Call Away” and the other Pink’s “Try” followed by a battle royale of 3 Doors Down’s “Kryptonite” – when the squirrel finally edged out the competition, the judges decided to use her “Ding Dong Keep It on Bell” to save the Gargoyle from being eliminated.
The judges had already used the bell to save Medusa (who is likely Bishop Briggs, possibly Fergie) last week, meaning they can only use it once more this season – so I think that decision was premature could be. But what’s done is done, and now the Gargoyle has a chance to fight his way back into the competition against Medusa (and a third one rescued by the Ding Dong Bell contestant) later in Season 9.
The judges seemed convinced the gargoyle was an LA athlete like Antonio Gates or Odell Beckham Jr. – except for chronic misjudgment Ken Jeong, who thought it was “record-setting” The Weeknd. (Yes, the high voice of the gargoyle did sound a bit like Abel Tesfaye’s, who has set multiple Spotify and chart records, and yes, there was a mention of “blind lights”…but I think Abel is way too busy touring the globe trying to quell bad press for it the idol make The Masked Singer.) I’m a bit taken aback by the gargoyle myself. But as for the squirrel, to quote Ken, I know exactly who that isand I’m really serious: It’s actress and self-described “girl next door who’s also funny” and “bombshell”, Malin Akerman.
A few quick Google and Wikipedia searches put all the squirrel clues together. The rocker rodent said she was once a kid figure skater, and here’s a 1987 #TBT of a mini-Malin with a lycra leotard and ice rink. Like the squirrel, Malin once wanted to be a child psychologist. The squirrel also mentioned ‘major agency model’ and starring in a ‘teenage acne commercial’, and Malin was spotted by Ford Models at the age of 16, which led to a deal with Noxzema. Visual cues such as a yellow smiley face button, a lock, and a gorilla each indicated Malin’s work All the best, thank you, please, Harold & Kumar go to the White CastleAnd dear monkeywhile another reference, “hero time,” was a clear reference to her role in the superhero film The Guardians. A plate of Swedish meatballs was a nod to Malin’s birthplace, Stockholm. And finally, the squirrel confessed that she once “made out with Tom Cruise,” which Malin’s nerdy journalist Constance Sack had in common with Cruise’s hair metal heartthrob Stacee Jaxx rock of times.
And if at all The isn’t enough to convince you, Malin can actually sing — she fronted alt-rock band The Petalstones — and her Pink performance definitely had a rocker-chick vibe to it.
So can the squirrel rock through the next two weeks and make it to the semifinals against reigning Group A quintet champion The California Roll (who is likely Pentatonix)? We’ll find out soon…but all I know is next Wednesday is Sesame Street night, so the squirrel or one of the two new Group B celebrities next week better Like Oscar the Grouch’s “I Love Trash” or Cookie Monster’s “Cookie Disco”. Until then.
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