On learning how to forgive and let live | Lloyd Sheaffer

President Biden announces student loan forgiveness

This ABC news headline immediately knotted the panties of the country’s right-wingers. Predictable clamors have already been heard: “It will increase inflation”; “The President exaggerates his authority”; “It’s abuse of power”; “It’s not fair to those who don’t have a student loan”; “Why should honest, hard-working taxpayers pay for someone else’s education?”; “blah” to the point of vomiting.

Some people with a cynical mindset might even feel that these anti-forgivenesses fear that offering such financial relief to lower- to lower-middle-class income groups might narrow the tremendous gap between the haves and have-nots that plagues our current culture.

Other mockers may wonder, “But what’s in it me?”

How about: “We, the people of the United States, establish justice to form a more perfect union, assure domestic peaceensure the common defence, promotion of the common goodand secures for us and posterity the blessings of liberty” . . . as represented in the Preamble to the United States Constitution.

That’s in it, not just for shebut for all of us.

I shall leave further discussion on this subject to the legal eagles and the political cheapskates.

I think that at the heart of this and many other divisive issues facing our society today is an even deeper problem; it’s in the word forgivenessan act in general accepted as a conscious, willful decision to let go of feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group that has harmed you—literally or figuratively—whether or not they actually deserve your forgiveness.

We are becoming an unforgiving people. We are becoming a people who do not want to accept or even ignore differences of opinion.

We are becoming a people who take any disagreement or opposing position as a personal attack. We’re becoming a people for whom words like reconciliation, compromise, and unity play no part in our relationships with one another.

“I’m right and you’re wrong, end of story, walk away and don’t speak to me again.” “It’s my way or the highway.” “I know better than you do, and I know what’s good for you.” “If you don’t agree with me, you are my enemy who must be exterminated.”

These are the types of attitudes that have consumed the essential societal dynamics of forgiveness and/or acceptance of difference for both interpersonal relationships and community strength. Such inexorable attitudes have long existed at the extreme ends of the political spectrum, but it seems that such attitudes are also infecting more and more points in the middle.

An unwillingness or inability to forgive or accept others ie Holding a grudge leads to negative manifestations in one’s character. According to the Mayo Clinic failure to forgive others lead you to

• bring anger and bitterness to any relationship and new experience;
• Getting so caught up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present;
• become depressed or anxious;
• Feeling that your life is lacking meaning or purpose, or that you are at odds with your spirituality beliefs;
• Losing valuable and enriching connections with others.

To me, these traits seem to characterize an angry, egocentric, combative person; When such people gather in a group, the result is likely to be an angry, self-absorbed, combative mob.

On the other hand, letting go of grudges or forgiving real or perceived wrongs can be beneficial to the corporation and the common good. Marina Cantacuzino and Katalin Karolyi from The CFor Community, enter Health and Development In the University of Kansas a notice the importance of forgiveness for community building:

• Forgiveness can bring new insights;
• Forgiveness can help change attitudes;
• Forgiveness can help mend broken relationships;
• Forgiveness can help break the cycle of violence.

I propose that these same blessings also arise when forgiveness and/or acceptance occurs between individuals.

In full disclosure, I acknowledge that my perspective on forgiveness may differ from the common view as mine is informed by my Lutheran theology.

While the view of forgiveness in our world today is often an interaction of tit-for-tat –if you do this or this or that, then I will forgive you or overlook what you have done to me/us – Martin Luther’s Reformation creed suggests that forgiveness of others is the result and reflection of God’s forgiveness to mankind as an undeserved gift. It is not an if/then contract in which one side exercises and retains power over the other.

The erroneous transaction in question is confirmed and the parties involved deal with the matter and move forward. The transformation takes place for both positions. Both sides win.

“Unforgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die,” notes writer and activist Anne Lamott.

“Grolls are like hand grenades: it’s wise to let go of them before they destroy you,” says former Harvard professor Barbara Johnson.

“Then Peter came to him and said, ‘Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who has sinned against me? As often as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven times!’” (Matthew 18:21-22 [New English Translation])

Unfortunately, we have become a society of divided families, neighborhoods, communities, states, religions, politics. If ever there was a time when we needed to exchange the gifts of forgiveness and forgiveness, it is now.

Whether the division appears in political actions like facilitating student loans or in angry words spoken in the heat of an emotional moment, understanding and leniency must prevail.

Otherwise, as the Native American chief Seattle wisely warned us: “We are all children of the Great Spirit, we all belong to Mother Earth. Our planet is in deep trouble and if we continue to hold grudges and don’t work together, we will all die.”

Live and let live? no forgive and live? Yes.

Opinion leader Lloyd E. Sheaffer, a retired English and humanities teacher, writes from North Middleton Township, Pennsylvania. His work appears monthly on the Capital-Star Comments page. Readers can email him at [email protected].