Since when has the answer to the question “How are you?” become “fine. Busy”. We seem to strive to demonstrate our usefulness and worth by always doing it. Being busy can carry the subtext, “I’m important” or “I don’t have time – for you”. A busy schedule Commitments mean I’m wanted, right?
“It’s culturally more acceptable to be busy, it’s almost seen as a good thing,” says Keelin O’Dwyer, a behavioral psychologist at online therapy platform Fettle.ie.
“You may receive this message from your employer, your family, or maybe very successful friends. It can create a cycle where you get stuck in that busy loop too.”
The opposite of downtime
Busyness is becoming a fetish, but downtime is essential to our health. “It increases our confidence because we have that space to be with ourselves,” says O’Dwyer. Maybe that’s why we avoid it. “Sometimes it’s scary to have to sit with your own thoughts, and in this case start with five-minute breaks,” she says. “It’s good for self-care, it’s good for resilience, and it’s good for your mental, emotional, and physical health.” We need this time to recover and recharge our batteries.”
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Frequent short breaks
Slammed, manic and crazy? Working like bobbins, taking a two-week break, only to come back and do the same thing until your next vacation isn’t right. Instead, try going at a more steady pace, O’Dwyer says.
“Start small so you can make your life more manageable,” she says. “Take a break during your workday; At the end of each Zoom call, take a moment to just close your eyes and take a deep breath. That can really stop the overwhelm. Those little breaks add up.”
Also check your diary. “Even get one or two tasks or expectations off your plate a week,” says O’Dwyer. “It’s not about having a blank calendar, it’s about breaking the cycle of busyness, even in small ways.”
set limits
Some workplaces exalt and admire overhaul. Constant connectivity and working across time zones can mean workdays never end. However, this will affect our productivity over time, says O’Dwyer. “Set aside a time slot for work, whether it’s 9am to 5:30pm or 9am to 6pm. When we have a place where work ends and we can leave our laptop, we actually become more productive over time. We will start doing our work within our set times.”
For example, expect coworkers not to check email after 8 p.m. “Many employers do not want people to work outside of working hours. It could be a misconception that you have in your mind that it is required. Set yourself limits. You’re also a good role model for others,” says O’Dwywer.
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Just say no’
When your calendar is jammed with commitments, you need to start saying “no,” says O’Dwyer. “The words ‘I should,’ ‘I must,’ or ‘I must’ — when you look at your calendar and feel those things, you see what the block is to saying ‘no.’ Is it because you’re trying to be the best co-worker, best friend, or family member?”
Practice saying “no” to smaller things first, then build momentum. Pick those who support you and share our purpose with them, says O’Dwyer. “You could explain, ‘I’m going to start saying ‘no’ more to take care of myself and have some free time.”
“When we learn to say ‘no,’ we make more room for the things we want in our lives, like the relaxation we value.”
Good enough
Cleaning, cooking, entertaining – weekends can be just as busy as our work week. Try to plan in some downtime, says O’Dwyer. “It could mean having a free weekend morning where you do absolutely nothing — no cleaning, no cooking, nothing.”
Planning to clean the baseboards and bake a baked Alaska? Try a reduction. “Practice ‘good enough’ – do I really need all that or what can I take off my plate?”
