Any parent has the potential to raise happy, healthy, and emotionally grounded children. But many struggle along the way.
In my two decades of experience as a child psychologist, I have found that unless parents are attuned to their child’s temperament and unique traits, they fail to honor and celebrate their child’s authentic selves.
There are six most extraordinary and gifted types of children. Your child may be more of one than the others, or a mix of all. Knowing your type will strengthen your relationship with each other and help them understand themselves better.
Fearful Exploders are often finicky, irritable, and triggered by the smallest thing.
Their beauty is that they are highly delicate and porous. But that means they tend to absorb the fear around them. And what are they doing with all this? they explode!
Parenting Tip: Be grounded, firm and calm. When you become reactive, either out of anger or fear, it can trigger a tsunami of emotions.
Praise them for their ability to process their surroundings, but teach them to find the comfort they need: “If you’re nervous, close your eyes and repeat, ‘I’m safe, I’m safe home and I’ll be fine.'”
Hyperactive explorers can’t sit still and are never back where they were last left.
These children are often labeled “annoying” by parents and teachers because they can be overwhelmingly active mentally and physically. But their superpower is that they are incredibly curious and engaging.
Parenting Tip: Hyperactive explorers need to be honored, not shamed, for their passionate spirit.
Show them unconditional acceptance so they can accept themselves in a world that may keep avoiding them: “I admire your creativity and imagination. Your different ways of thinking can help you do amazing things.”
Hyperstimulators are like butter—soft and pliable, easy to mold and shape—and they’re the perfect booty for parents with a strong need for control.
You fill in gaps, take on tasks and get gold stars. But because they are eager to help, they often overstep parental responsibilities and assume parental responsibilities, becoming the “cared for” adults of the household.
Parenting Tip: Honor and teach them how to protect their borders.
Remind them that their needs come first: “You are a giver, and you may find many who continue to take from you. Remember, it’s okay to say ‘no’.”
Dreamer-Recluse children tend to be shy and introverted, and can struggle with social and conversation skills.
You can often catch them staring into space, scribbling in their notebook, or spending so much time alone that you wonder if they’re even in the house.
Parenting Tip: Society might try to tell them that they should be the opposite, that they should be more extroverted.
Help them feel safe and highlight their strengths: “Don’t let them tell you how you should be. Remember that those who are able to be alone are strong people.
Rebellious nonconformists have the will of an ox. They won’t do it until they’re convinced it’s something they want to do.
I know how challenging these kids can be. My daughter Maia is a rebel and she has the kind of confidence that doesn’t make her afraid of authority.
Parenting Tip: These kids need to feel respected for their determination.
Let go of control and judgement: “I love your ability to follow your own voice and not be swayed by popular opinion.
These children are always laughing and in a good mood. You are not fussy, demanding or bossy.
The only downside is that they can be overly relaxed and seem unmotivated. As a result, some parents might find her not ambitious enough.
Parenting Tip: What parents don’t realize is that happy-go-lucky kids are actually the gurus of living in the present.
Celebrate her positive outlook on the world: “You always bring so much peace and joy to any situation. Keep that beat, because it’s a lost rhythm that more people in the world need to embrace.”
dr Shefali TsabaryPhD, is a child psychologist and bestselling author of “The Parent Card”, “The Conscious Parents” And “The Awakened Family.” She holds a PhD from Columbia University and is a wisdom teacher who integrates Eastern spirituality with Western psychology. As an expert in family dynamics and relationships, she is also the founder of Coaching Institute for Conscious Education. keep following her Twitter And Instagram.
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