By Jana Hocking for Daily Mail Australia
23:52 18 Mar 2023, updated 00:46 19 Mar 2023
- Jana Hocking says Vanderpump Rules scandal is not an isolated case
- She believes that men and women often cheat with their partner’s friends
- “I was the victim and (shamefully) the villain in this scenario,” she says
Look around your friend group… Is there a friend who laughs a little too hard at your partner’s jokes? Have you ever caught her looking at him a little too long? Ever spotted a shared inside joke or caught a whiff of flirtation.
I’ll tell you right now… it’s not the sexy secretary at work you need to keep an eye on, it’s your best friend!
Trust me, I speak from experience, and I was the victim and (shamefully) the villain in this scenario.
You see, I’m a big flirt. I can’t help it, seriously – I’d be flirting with a chair if he’d let me. It’s just in my DNA. The problem with being a naturally flirt is that it can get you into some tricky situations. So I see how some friendship groups can get into trouble when one partner flirt meets another partner flirt. I’m not excusing it, but I can see it happening.
And admit it, most of us fellow flirts will do it harmlessly throughout the day, like with the person making our coffee or the guy at the bar, but we justify it by thinking it doesn’t really matter ‘Cause it’s me I’ll never see her again But what happens when that flirt reaches your friend group? In my experience, it’s very dangerous to flirt with someone you’re going to meet fairly regularly and intimately.
It starts out as a cheeky flirtation at a friends barbecue, but then it happens again at a birthday party, and before you know it, you’re out with your best friend and her partner for a boozy dinner, exchanging misty looks over a chardonnay bottle.
We see it play again and again. I had a friend who discovered her husband was cheating with her best friend when he forgot they had the baby monitor set up in her kitchen, and he took the beast into the nursery for a good smooch. Yes, all the grunts, moans, and heavy breathing were transmitted straight to the kitchen where her two significant others were sitting. idiots.
These friend meetings are all designed to bond. The lunches, the family outings, the birthday parties. Add a little booze to the situation, and a harmless bit of unintentional flirting can lead to a cheeky fling and big ol’ heartbreak before you can even mutter, “Oops, daisies!”
We see exactly this scenario at Vanderpump Rules right now. In case you aren’t an avid viewer like me, there is a couple named Tom and Ariana who have been together for 10 years, but a recent episode revealed that Ariana found a racy video of Tom with her BEST FRIEND (!!! !) Raquel shows off all sorts of sex appeal.
Viewers treat it like the biggest scandal in the world, but look closely at your own circle of friends and I think you’ll find that it played out in some form in your own life.
I once dated a very naughty guy who was in custody (aka jail) over the weekend. I was at university and the campus was two hours away, which meant I couldn’t pick him up every Sunday when he was released. (I know, romantic right!).
Anyway, at the time one of our mutual friends had a car and offered to take it with us. Something deep inside thought that was a little cute, I mean she certainly has better things to do with her time than picking it up every Sunday, but I ignored the red flag and let it go. A few months later, after they regularly shared intimate car rides with him, another friend called to say she’d seen them snogging in a booth at McDonald’s.
Now blow me over with a feather! I was heartbroken, but deep down I wasn’t surprised. Why, because your gut is never wrong! I had watched her slow attraction build. The inside jokes, the lustful looks. Those car rides had brought her close and in a naked, rude way I wasn’t happy with it!
Now you might think that this is a one-off event that happens very rarely, but according to a study by the University of Colorado Boulder Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, Americans who admit to having sex outside of marriage are most likely to be cheating with a close friend.
Yes! Just over half (53.5 percent) of those who reported having sex outside of marriage said they were dating someone they knew well, such as B. a close friend, were unfaithful. The reason for this high statistic was that the two cheeky scammers had already built inherent qualities with each other, including emotional intimacy, closeness, friendship, and support.
Here you go. If you think your partner is getting a little too close to your best friend, stay alert. It’s a jungle out there! Side note: is nobody loyal anymore?
