Adults need to be role models even if they don’t agree with referees
ASK: Any reminders for adults who are having a hard time being a good athlete during their kids’ baseball or soccer games? These games are in full swing in some cities and adults can lose sight of how to behave. Should they sign a promise to behave while watching the children play?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: How embarrassing, really. A deposit sent with every program might help, but if someone loses their stuff, a deposit probably won’t help. Maybe someone needs to talk to the crazy parent. Much luck!
LILLLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Apparently from your question this is still a regular problem. If you’re the coach, you can include that reminder—and a promise—at a parent meeting early in the season and spell out the types of behavior you’ve seen that will not be tolerated and what happens when they break it. A sports league can do that too. As an uninvolved parent whose child is playing, I’m not sure what you can do for parents who don’t understand this. There is no excuse for parents to be so competitive or so involved in games that they yell or verbally abuse referees or players, including their own children. I’m sorry.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Adults should continue to be good role models for children, even if they disagree with a referee’s reputation or feel that their child did not get the points they deserved. They should behave correctly and be good sports. There’s no need to be so overly focused that you get into a fight with another parent. These are children’s games, for goodness sake, and should be fun for the kids. I’m not sure how pledges would be enforced, but if reminding adults to behave helps, ask for signatures. Coaches can help by speaking to parents and reminding them that good behavior is essential to their children’s well-being.
GUEST RESPONSE: Kirsten Cash, speech therapist and mother of four: All four of my children have played various organized sports over the past 18 years. I’m pretty sure every organization had some kind of code of conduct that we had to sign, so I think those are already in place. The problem is that these “contracts” are not actively enforced by the organizations. Unfortunately, I have seen many parents lose control when playing games. It’s embarrassing for everyone, but especially for the child of the offending parent. The best advice I have is to contact the organization about a specific parent and ask them to watch your games so the organization can either speak to the offending parent or have them removed.
Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have been writing this intergenerational etiquette column. They also feature guest responses from a variety of age groups each week. So many years later, Callie is in her 20s; Lillie-Beth is in her 40s and Helen is in her 60s. To ask a question about etiquette, email [email protected].