Heather Fisher: ‘I lost a part of my personality’ – how World Cup-winner dealt with alopecia, body confidence and harassment | Rugby Union News

Sky sports news 2014 Rugby World Champion Heather Fisher spent a year after her retirement as she reflected on what it means to be a woman in sport in a world that treats her like a man “five or six times a day”. Sports.

“That sounds bizarre. I don’t mean to sound bizarre, but I’m just being honest. I don’t feel like a woman.”

In 2010, Heather Fisher represented England at their first Rugby World Cup. But just before it started, her hair started falling out and she was diagnosed with alopecia.

“When I lost my hair, I lost a massive chunk of my personality. A part I don’t really talk about because I think I should be ok because I really believe hair shouldn’t define me.

“But it defines confidence and how you treat yourself and how you dress. I’ve learned to dress differently and I’ve learned to accept being seen differently. So I’m probably too scared to show how I really feel,” she said.

“I don’t feel like I should educate people”

Four years after the diagnosis, Fisher was part of the England squad that won the 2014 Rugby World Cup. But she says her alopecia is something she still struggles with every day.

“From comments to looks to the way I’m treated. I forget that I have the disease. But I get reminded about it all the time because of other people.”

Fisher says she’s called “a dude” five or six times a day.

“Maybe I should fight it more, but I don’t want it to consume me, so I just take it and accept the fact that someone thinks I’m a man because I don’t bother to explain that I am.” am a woman .

“Maybe I have a job to educate people. But I also don’t feel like I should educate people, I think they shouldn’t be so ignorant.”

But it’s not just one or the other comment. Fisher was asked to exit women’s restrooms locked in toilets while police waited outside and was once physically pushed out of a toilet stall.

And when so many of these experiences have come from training camps or traveling to competitions, how does a top athlete manage the stress that comes with it while remaining focused on their athletic performance?

“[I] laughed it off at first. I laughed about it so much that I think people think I’m okay with that. And that’s my coping mechanism,” she said.

“When I lost my hair, I didn’t really go out. I found it disgusting. If you think you’re gross and don’t deserve to be in a relationship and you don’t fit in then you’re nice and how you’re treated never really lets you go.

“It wasn’t always okay. And I think that’s why I’m starting to process it now that I’ve retired. Imagine a library of files behind you. Now I’m retired, my head is free to go through the files.”

Body image: “What should be right, against me”

Fisher says losing her hair meant she had to quickly figure out what she stood for and what her values ​​were.

“I don’t plan to be any different, but when you lose your hair to be a strong woman, it takes a lot of courage. I think I’m constantly fighting between what should be right and myself. I hold it together because I feel like I should hold it together.

“People say it’s wrong for a woman to have muscles. I didn’t grow up thinking that I was a woman who was going to gain muscle and play a male dominated sport, was I? I was just a young girl who found a sport she loves, trained for it, built muscle and became the best I could be.

“I’m not defined by my lack of hair or my muscles or my favorite outfits. In a male dominated environment like rugby it brings out the other side of you, you have to be pretty daring to be in that set-up. If a woman is male, I think that’s still seen as wrong and not really accepted yet.”

“Sport is for everyone”

Though Fisher isn’t trans, she has experienced transphobia and says she understands what it’s like to feel like you’re just fighting to be yourself.

“I always have to define who I am – every day. That’s such a heavy weight. It’s like it weighs you down to the point where you feel like it’s consuming you. And I certainly shouldn’t be struggling to just be who I am.

“And we shouldn’t let young people grow up in a world where they have to define or argue who they want to be or who they are. Young people are starting to decide who they want to be, and I say who, because it’s not about what, it’s about who, and that depends on their identity and their values,” Fisher said.

There are ongoing debates about how transgender people can compete in sports.

In February 2023 UK Athletics announced they wanted legislation to be changed to ensure the sport’s women’s category was reserved for competitors who are registered as female at birth.

The chairman, Ian Beattie, said the governing body wanted athletics to be a “welcoming environment for all” but he had a responsibility to ensure “fairness” in women’s competition.

The Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) said it was “disappointed” that UKA had decided to publish “inaccurate advice” and questioned its interpretation of the Equality Act 2010 to “affected employment” and discriminate on the basis of a gender reassignment if this is required to ensure “fair competition” or “the safety of competitors”.

“Any young person who enters the sport should never be defined by gender. As a young person, they probably don’t feel like they can get into a sport because of what they’re going through mentally,” Fisher said. “But sport has no gender, it’s just sport and it’s a competition, it’s a competition, it meets new people, it meets friends, it’s your identity, it becomes your culture, it becomes your life,” Fisher said.

“That’s how you do it. It’s just about working out the physical aspects in terms of strength and hormones. So you do it the same in all countries.

“We have to grow with that, we have to evolve and I think until the sports federations evolve I don’t think it’s going to be a safe place for young people. I think we need to do better at inclusion and involving young people in a safe space where they feel like they can really be themselves and play the game. Point.”