How to Deal With A**holes – Kyiv Post
This week, the West has been quick and clear in its military and diplomatic response to Vladimir Putin’s latest round of mass rocket attacks on civilian targets in Ukrainian cities. However, their response at the level of psychological warfare could certainly be improved, including by following the example of Ukraine itself.
In short, Ukraine knows how to deal with a***holes. An old proverb says: “God created a beautiful country called Ukraine. And to keep things balanced, he gave him the worst neighbor in the world.” After at least one Russian invasion every century since the 12th century, Stalin’s forced famine that killed more than 5 million Ukrainians in the 1930s, and Decades of Soviet Russification and political repression, Ukrainians know what works best when faced with an authoritarian dictator and the depraved and evil imperial culture presided over by Vladimir Putin.
Ukraine’s methods actually align with some of the thoughts of Stanford professor of organizational behavior, Dr. Robert Sutton, who has devoted his entire academic career to literally dealing with a***holes. He has amassed a wealth of empirical data on what constitutes vengeful jerks and bullies in organizations and how best to protect against them. His work fits well in the context of Russia’s war against Ukraine.
First of all, Sutton’s definition of a **hole fits Putin well: “A **hole is someone who makes us feel humiliated, lacking in energy, disrespected and/or oppressed. In other words, someone who makes you feel like dirt. They want you to feel hurt and upset; they enjoy it.”
How do you react to an asshole? Here are some distilled insights from Sutton’s work, as well as basic concepts of counter-propaganda and psychological warfare in which this author was trained by the US Army back in the 1980’s.
Ignore holes. Sutton calls this “tactical avoidance”: doing everything possible to avoid and not engage in an asshole’s behavior. This, in turn, denies them the esteem, credibility, and most importantly, the emotional power over others that they crave. He told an interviewer: “One of the easiest – but admittedly most difficult – things to do is just learn to give a fuck. Not giving a fuck takes the wind out of an asshole’s sails.”
In psy-op terms, going back to Sun Tzu, it’s also about choosing to fight on your preferred battlefield, not your opponent’s. Ukraine mastered this strategy with Putin. It doesn’t directly address his blatant lies, “consistently contradictory” claims, propaganda narratives, or political showmanship. Rather, Ukraine employs a simple but intelligent method to starve Putin of the psychological control, narcissistic reward, and political goals he most desires: status as a global player and “master strategist.”
That is, Ukraine simply refuses to take Putin seriously, give him any substantive credit, or show any signs of intimidation. In the midst of a brutal war, Putin is laughed at and ridiculed. From his current comedian, President Volodymyr Zelensky, to his government and military’s official social media feeds, to his vast citizen army of content creators and meme makers, Putin is just a joke. Ukraine is even actively positioning a small, cute, bomb-sniffing Jack Russell terrier – named Ammo – as a cheerful and humorous contrast to Putin’s fake machismo.
Unfortunately, this effective tactic of denial and dismissal contrasts with that of some world leaders, including those in France, Germany and Italy. Although they have been repeatedly burned, they continue to engage publicly with Putin in a respectful and equal manner. It is practically stupid because in eight years and eight months it has achieved nothing for their interests, no less for those of Ukraine; it is morally reprehensible to admit responsibility as a war criminal and state terrorist, as decided this week by the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe. In contrast to the firm stance of tiny and distant Australia, Europeans are bizarrely happy to work with a man who delights in seeing their societies in chaos and destruction.
fight back. Sutton argues that if your asshole is particularly exploitative and vicious, it’s necessary to fight them — while maintaining emotional distance, per his advice above. He told an interviewer:
“Sometimes you have to talk to the asshole in the only language they understand, and that means getting your hands dirty… If someone has a long history of hurting you and they have a Machiavellian personality, that only thing he understand is a show of force. If that’s the case, the best way to protect yourself is to shoot back with everything you’ve got… If you’re going to fight, you need a plan and a squad, you need to collect your evidence, and then you need to take yours Opportunities true.”
While the Ukrainian authorities or partisans operating behind the lines have not made any claims about the Kerch Bridge – or airfields and ammunition depots, which continue to burn in Russia itself – it would be logical for such objects to be destroyed which has not only military and logistical Validity but also massive impact on psy-ops.
An important part of US Army psy-ops training was the importance of understanding the psychological, emotional, and cultural makeup of your target audience/enemy and utilizing their iconic symbols, dates, locations, and opportunities in one’s efforts to make an impact and to have an impact. Or, as Sutton writes, “You gotta know your asshole.”
Through history and geography, Ukrainians know Russia and Russians better than anyone. Unlike clumsy Western European politicians who mistakenly assume Russia upholds “European” values like democracy, Ukrainians know Russia as unique and different — and actually know what drives it on an emotional and psychological level.
For example, from peasants to policymakers, Ukrainians know that shame and glory are the flip sides of the same coin that has shaped Russian political culture for centuries. Since the Russo-Japanese War, any regime change or Russian involvement in a war can be explained either as an attempt to avert national shame or to seek imperial glory. (The Bolshevik Revolution was arguably “democratic” in some way, but even that was largely a reaction to the humiliations of World War I.)
Moreover, after the chaos of Yeltsin, Putin’s entire domestic project was founded on the concept of glory: projecting Russian power into the world while instilling in Russians the personal “glory” of crass individual materialism. Glory is the connecting and controlling principle.
It is also the soft, very fat, and very exposed belly of Putin, his corrupt mafia cohorts, and the sick society that choose to be manipulated by them. At every turn, Ukrainians are kicking their stomachs very hard, using “weapons of mass humiliation.” The strategic goal is to induce shame – shame that impairs sober decision-making in war and provokes internal criticism and dissent against Putin. Putin’s end, they know, is the best prospect for peace.
In contrast, too many Western leaders still think they can handle this historic moment and return to some status quo; They seem to be beginning to see the opportunity to manifest a better global order without an unpredictable Putin. Their compromise and accommodation mentality strengthens Putin and prolongs the war – and the associated nuclear posturing. Belief in victory and the actions that it enables – such as the deployment of air defense systems and Ukrainian successes on the battlefield – prorogates him.
Ukrainians attack Putin’s narcissism and push the Russian ego into overcompensation and missteps through tactics such as: parades of destroyed Russian military equipment in their city’s main squares; the publication of the embarrassing lack of training and supplies for Russian soldiers; aiming and destroying high symbol value objects like that Moscow battleship (or shall we say the Kerch Bridge) in which the Putin force is emotionally invested; Promoting the bravery of Ukrainian fighters and volunteers – women, gays, non-Christians and people of different ethnic backgrounds – who are in stark contrast to patriarchal and fascist Putinism; and demonstrate unshakable optimism and confidence in their own democratic values, emotional strength, martial prowess and future victory.
It works? Has the wisdom of someone like Sutton stood the test? Ironically, any of the 110 cruise missiles and 40 kamikaze drones launched by Russia this week — as those missiles run out and their conventional forces retreat near Kherson and eastern Ukraine — say yes. The a***hole is pushed out and pushed down. Because with all the physical damage and destruction of the attacks on Ukrainian cities, they also speak of psychological despair. Not from Ukraine – but from Putin.
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the Kyiv Post.