How to encourage preschoolers to be more fair, according to science

“But that’s not fair!” If you’re a parent or a teacher, you’ve probably heard this countless times.

For most young children, fair simply means treating everyone equally. Kids are quick to say they don’t have to go to bed any earlier than a sibling or endure more chores or homework than a classmate.

But as children get older, they begin to understand that sometimes things can be unequal and still be fair — especially when people have different needs, circumstances, or abilities. By the age of 8 to 10, most children aren’t yet capable of such moral subtlety, but a new study shows they can grow closer, with the help of a surprising source: disagreements.

For preschoolers, a 20-minute conversation with someone who disagrees with them, or who asks them to justify their ideas, can encourage more nuanced moral calculations about what it means to be “fair.”

That’s the key finding of a new Duke University study examining how children develop their sense of morality.

Many theorists have suggested that a child’s interactions with other people can shape his growing sense of right and wrong. However, experiments to pinpoint exactly which types of interactions are most helpful have been lacking, said first author Leon Li, who conducted the research with developmental psychologist Michael Tomasello as part of his PhD. in Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke.

In a study published this summer in Journal of Experimental Child Psychologythe researchers asked 129 children, ages four to five, to discuss simple moral dilemmas with a puppet and try to make the fairest decision possible.

For example, in one experiment, they asked the children to imagine two boys, one of whom missed breakfast, and decide how to divide biscuits between them at snack time. Another was about whether two girls should get in the same trouble for throwing away someone’s lunch when one of them thought it was trash.

No matter what the child decided, the doll then responded by either agreeing or disagreeing and either asking the child to explain their reasoning or not. The researchers then observed how the doll’s reactions influenced the child’s thinking in future trials.

They found that children who had previously encountered differing viewpoints or had to justify their choices were more likely to prefer the more worthy recipient rather than fall into “fair must mean the same” thinking.

Li warns that contradicting a child or asking them to justify themselves doesn’t necessarily make them more honest, diligent, or generous.

“These are different areas of morality, but we just felt it was fair,” Li said. “It’s possible that it wouldn’t have an impact, say, social exclusion” or some other aspect of moral behavior that the team doesn’t examine Has.

But when people ask him, “Is this how I teach my child to be more virtuous?” — at least when it comes to fairness — “the answer is yes,” Li said.

Provided by the Duke Research Blog