How to Face Social-Media-Fueled ‘Career Milestone FOMO’

• Gen Z is experiencing widespread “career milestone FOMO,” said Dr. Anisha Patel-Dunn to Insider.
• The pandemic and social media have made it worse.
• As young Americans enter the job market, it’s important to avoid this new type of FOMO.

While some Americans “quiet quietly” and don’t seek promotion, many are striving to reach their next career milestone — and wonder why everyone else seems to be progressing faster.

There is widespread “career milestone FOMO” among young Americans, said Dr. Anisha Patel-Dunn, a college-age psychiatrist and chief medical officer at LifeStance Health, told Insider.

Patel-Dunn describes this “FOMO” as “the feeling of internal criticism or rising anxiety when we compare ourselves to others and their accomplishments,” which can trigger negative emotions about one’s self-worth. She says that feeling can be triggered by seeing a co-worker or friend get a promotion or accept an exciting opportunity, or by seeing someone their own age living a lifestyle that extends beyond their own career can offer him.

Though she’s been working with patients for 20 years and says the experience isn’t a new phenomenon, she believes it’s “accelerated in the past few years.”

“The pandemic may have delayed or derailed career milestones for people who expected to achieve a specific goal by a set time or by a certain age,” she said. “Social media also plays a role in the ‘FOMO’ experience because it increases your exposure to other people’s lifestyles and standards of living.”

While millions of Americans have joined the Great Resignation and advanced in their careers, the pandemic has created career obstacles for others. And while most research has focused on how using platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat can lead to fears of missing out on fun social activities, the rise of career platforms like LinkedIn is helping some workers experience a similar type of FOMO experience in their professional life.

And as more Gen Zers enter the workforce, more may fall victim to it.

“It feels like everyone else around me is getting promoted”

Patel-Dunn says that “social media comparisons” can increase feelings of “anxiety, stress and depression,” especially when people are already uncomfortable about their careers.

The most common phrases she hears from patients are some version of the following: “It feels like everyone else around me is getting a promotion”, “I feel like my boss is always helping someone else and doesn’t pay attention to me, ‘ and ‘I wonder if I’m not working hard enough or just not good enough.’

This “milestone FOMO” is not just a US phenomenon either.

Pragun Dua, a 22-year-old Web3 product designer in India, says that the ever-changing nature of the technology industry can create “a fear of missing out on the next big thing”.

“Especially on Twitter you see a lot of people building, and a lot of them may be younger than you,” he told Insider, adding that one’s success “can be measured by what people — especially in your age group — achieve.”

36-year-old Abhishek Ponia, an India-based consultant, says many young people come to him for career advice and “almost all” say they haven’t achieved much and are “losing the race”.

Many societies put “too much pressure” on children to be high achievers, comparing them to their peers, Ponia adds. And with the rise of social media platforms like Twitter and LinkedIn over the past decade, things have only gotten worse, he says.

“Even those who are actually doing pretty well now feel like they’re not doing enough,” he said. “Topics like ‘hustle culture’, ‘having a second income’ etc. may be good for a few, but not necessarily for everyone.”

Milestone FOMO can extend to marriage, having children and buying a home

This FOMO can extend “to every aspect of life,” Patel-Dunn said, including personal life goals like getting married, having children and buying a house.

“Whether it’s family pressure to get married at the age your parents were married, or to have kids, or to buy a house before you’re emotionally ready or financially stable, it’s a common feeling having that you’re the only one falling behind,” she said.

But regardless of where FOMO is coming from, there are ways to combat it.

Patel-Dunn says it’s important to remember that “everyone’s timeline looks different” and that social media is a “highlight reel that often doesn’t represent reality.” She recommends young people limit the time they spend on social media to protect their mental health.

“If your career isn’t where you want to be, set realistic goals to get yourself somewhere you’re more comfortable,” she said. “It’s important to have perspective on your situation as well — even if you haven’t achieved a certain goal doesn’t mean you’re unsuccessful, and it’s important to stay kind to yourself throughout the process.”

Ponia says he shares two pieces of wisdom with young people he talks to: “Your biggest competition isn’t someone else, it’s yourself” and “We all have unique paths.”

“No two people in the world have lived life the same way, done things the same way,” he said. “So what applies to someone may or may not apply to someone else.”

And it’s important to remember, says Dua, that everyone is in the same boat and are often willing to help you along the way.

As he got to know the people in his line of work, he realized they were “very helpful, humble and cooperative” and “no smarter” than he was. This has helped him to advance without comparing himself too much to others.