How to Host a Kid-Friendly Diwali Celebration 2022
Photo illustration: The strategist. Photo: Avani Modi Sarkar
Hosting can be a lot, especially when part of the game is making sure the soirée you put together looks effortless. In this series, seasoned partygoers tell us how they pull off their highly specific, flawlessly executed gatherings. This part comes from Avani Modi Sarkar, the founder of Modi toy, who shares how she hosts a Diwali celebration for family and friends – including many children. Diwali, also known as the Festival of Lights and lasting five days starting October 24 this year, is celebrated by Indians of many faiths and the entire Hindu diaspora. Accordingly, Modi’s gathering begins with many candles, and all her guests dress up to eat and drink from afternoon to evening. But the main event are the activities she plans for the boys, which keep them busy and—essentially for Modi—teach them about their culture.
Modi grew up celebrating Diwali in Gujarat, India, where she lived until she was 8 – when her family moved to the US, they continued to observe the holidays in their new home: her mother cooked elaborate dishes and Indian sweets, and she would pray and perform religious ceremonies, but it was always “small and intimate,” Modi says.
Today, Modi is actively making her own Diwali traditions to pass on to her three young children. “The reason I have this motivation now is because my kids weren’t born and raised in India like I was,” she says. “That connection is inherent to me, but not to her. Now that the kids are starting to understand their culture and start asking questions, I want to make sure I can give them answers.”
While the adult guests at her Diwali party – extended family and other parents in her community – spend the afternoon and evening eating and drinking, the children make traditional decorations to learn about the holiday’s core message: light over darkness, good over evil and knowledge over ignorance. “I want them to expect it,” she says, “and love it enough that one day they’ll want to pass it on.”
I place an order a few days before so the food can be picked up that day (I don’t like to cook as much as my mum). I’m planning on having a late lunch – starters at 3pm and mains around 6:30pm. Chicken tikka masala, chicken curry, chole, aloo gobi and biryani for dinner with raita and apad on the side.
Diwali can be like Christmas where you start preparing things before the holiday so this year as I was hosting early I did it the day before. I’ll make sure our main entrance is here Aha Moment. When people enter and see the space, they should feel very welcome. I have set up an area in the foyer with our Ganesh idol which you will notice in many Indian homes near the entrance because he is considered the god who removes all obstacles and to whom Hindus pray first in every ceremony – whether housewarming, baby shower or wedding.
Photo: Avani Modi Sarkar
Then I create a rangoli—an intricate, colorful design—on the floor. Traditionally rangolis are made with colored powder but as I have a 1 year old this doesn’t make sense. So I use this sheer fabric instead and have it laying around in different colors. The reason why people do rangolis is that we pray to Lakshmi for Diwali. Lakshmi is the goddess of wealth and prosperity, so it is very fitting that you wish to start your year with her blessings. But it is believed – and whether that’s a myth parents made up a long time ago, I don’t know – that just like spring cleaning, we should clean our house just before Diwali so that we can make the home really welcoming to Lakshmi. She won’t enter your home if it’s full of filth, filth, chaos and such, and the Rangolis are meant to exude a welcoming atmosphere.
I put curtains all over the house and try to make them look really beautiful – like you see them at Indian weddings. This is my inspiration. I hung pom poms and garlands around the banister. The Diwali garlands you see are usually (or meant to represent) marigold flowers and can come in orange or yellow. Marigolds represent the sun and symbolize brightness and positive energy. It is said that a person surrounded by this mustard color is optimistic as the brain is actually releasing more serotonin. To hang them up, Command hooks are really your friend here.
I covered the table with more fabric. In the corner I place this tiered stand and decorate every other tier with a garland and LED candles. Candles are important because Diwali comes from the Sanskrit word deepavali, which literally means “line of lights”. It follows the story of Rama, a Hindu deity who, after 14 years in exile, was led home by candles on a pitch-black night.
Photo: Avani Modi Sarkar
Finally, as an activity for the kids the next day, I bake my own diyas (or candle holders). I make them from the same dough you would use to make rotis with flour, water, and salt, but instead of rolling them flat, I shape them into a small bowl shape. I bake them at 185 degrees for about an hour to harden them.
On the morning of the party I go to buy fresh flowers. These are for the kids to use the petals to decorate their own cut out rangoli during the party. I peel them off when I get home and separate the different colors into bowls or into a container. You can use colored powder or rice, but these are much more troublesome to clean. I grab Mithai, which are Indian sweets – Malai Peda, Gulab Jamun, Kalakand, Kaju Katli, Jalebi – from this place called Mithaas. They are a must have at any Diwali party. They’re technically desserts, but I put them down and everyone pokes at them all day.
Dressing up is one way to truly embrace your culture. The kids see me in sweatshirts and t-shirts all the time, so if I really bother to get dressed, they say, Okay, today is a special day. And honestly, Indian clothing is just a lot more fun. It’s very fluid and you feel really beautiful in it. I tell my friends to wear Indian clothes too. It adds to the atmosphere of the whole.
Photo: Avani Modi Sarkar
My brother picks up the food as the restaurant is quite a drive for us. Everything is served in buffet form on the kitchen island. The appetizers come first, then, before it’s time for dinner, I’ll reheat and serve the main courses. I set up wine and beer (husband loves this one) when it’s my family as most of them aren’t drinkers and make a signature cocktail when it’s my friends as most of them are.
I turn on the music. Music is playing all the time. We have speakers in all rooms on the ground floor, so no matter which room you go to, you’ll hear it. My kids now know what Bollywood music is and they know if they want to cheer Mommy up to put on some Bollywood.
Everyone spends the first hour eating appetizers and mithai. The children run around and play. Eventually I let them start with the first activity: painting the homemade diyas. You choose one each, then I set them up with acrylic paint and brushes to decorate. It’s a great multi-age activity – for both the 2-year-old and the nearly 9-year-old – and keeps them all busy for a long time. When they’re done, I dab the diyas with excess paint and let them dry a bit. Then I call them back to put rhinestone decals on. Even my 1-year-old son stands there and plays with the rhinestone stickers. Of course everyone takes theirs home.
Photo: Avani Modi Sarkar
After the kids have some more free time to play by themselves, I set up another project: a station where the kids can decorate their own rangoli with the petals they drew earlier. The rangoli are basically a foam mat with intricate designs cut about 1 inch deep so kids have room to fill in. It’s something for them and they can see the finished product.
When dinnertime approaches, I preheat the oven to a low temperature to warm up the food.
Photo: Avani Modi Sarkar
Once all the food is set up on the island, the adults prepare plates. Ideally we sit in the dining room and I put the kids at a separate table in the kitchen with someone to look after them. But realistically it’s difficult for all parents to sit down at the same time, so we sort of eat in shifts – that’s the nature of things when you have kids that young, but it adds to the informal atmosphere.
Once dinner is over, it’s time to head home. Everyone puts on their shoes and coats, ready to go, and we head outside to the front yard to light some sparklers. Diwali usually falls on a new moon night, so it’s pretty dark outside. Anything you can do to add light and brightness is required of you for this celebration.
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