How to Know If You’re Going to Hell

If the Catholic cHurch’s right, you’re going to hell. Probably.

I’m sorry, but these are just facts. Soh many of the Things you do every day are sins, to the point that There is simply no way to escape damnation. don’t feel bad— I am doesn’t go to heaven either. I’ve committed so many mortal sins I can’t even remember the mall. The only consolation is that everyone I know will join me in the lake of fire.

As I understand it, the catholic cChurch (or God if you’re a Catholic) has done an “off” in the form of confessions to a priest and penance. These will remove your sins and cleanse your spirit, but you still need to find the right time to die in a state of grace. AAnd considering how many sins you and I regularly commit, and how quickly they are piling up seems improbable to all of us will end in the good place. We’re sorry.

So if we go there, maybe we will know why. These are the sins most likely to get you bathed in the lake of fire.

The three kinds of sin

Before you can determine for sure whether you’re going to hell for the bad things you’ve done, let’s examine more closely what we mean by “sin.” By and large, sins are offenses against God. There are three main types of sin in a Catholic setting.

• original sins: Original sin is the sin committed by Adam and a recognition of our essentially sinful nature. You can only get rid of OS through baptism, so it is general nothing for Catholics to worry about when they are about a week old.
• venial sins: Venial sins are relatively minor spiritual offenses—not the best things to do, but not bad for sending you to Hell either. If you die and commit venial sins, you still go to heaven (probably). You don’t even have to confess them.
• deadly sins: Mortal sins are the biggies: heinous deeds committed with full knowledge of their seriousness and with the sinner’s full consent. You will Go to Hell if you have committed mortal sins without repenting.

The New Sins

In 2008, the church was like, “Yo, new sins are falling” and made it clear to everyone that the following sins are:

• to pollute the environment
• Involvement in “manipulative” genetic science
• social injustices that cause poverty
• the excessive accumulation of wealth by a few
• pedophilia

I can find out that all these things are sins! But because the Catholic Church has something for everyone (or nothing for everyone, depending on what you mean from view) they also wanted to remind us that these other things are quiet sins:

• Drug use or dealing (does legal weed count?)
• aabortion

Oh. Maybe I’m less Catholic than I thought.

The Church’s 2008 sin series joins old favorites like:

• murder
• extramarital sex
• bestiality
• divorce
• masturbation
• blasphemy
• take the n of the Lordam in vain
• take advantage of the poor
• to cheat the worker out of his wages
• jealousy

I could count sins all day, but you get the idea –almost anything could be a sin depending on why and how you do it.

Still, I like the Catholic cHurch’s no-nonsense approach. Too many people think being religious means that God hates the same things they do and agrees with them about everything else. But Catholicism makes this worldview impossible. No matter who you are or what you think, what you do is shameful.

In the nearly 2,000 years of its existence, the Catholic cHurch never published or explained a comprehensive list of sins, which are fatal and which are venial, because the same act can either be a sin or not be a sin at all, subject to extenuating circumstances. For example, if you are a drug addict, you probably aren’t committing a mortal sin by shooting in the air for not giving yours complete agreement. But if you just how If you get high and burn Bibles on Friday night, you’re probably committing a lot of mortal sins.

“But I’m not a Catholic! What do I care?

Obviously, other religions have different ideas about sin and heaven and hell, and I certainly don’t know if the Catholic teachings are the definitive last word on what will send you to hell or not. Bbut the catholic cChurch has been around for a long time and its hierarchical structure provides a single authority figure (the Pope) to explain things. Plus, his long history of documenting what acts are insults to God probably provides the closest thing to a practical answer to the question.

Personally, I’m not interested in religious debates, just staying out of Hell, so I’ll go with the Catholic approach to hedge my bet. Perhaps knowing for sure what sins I’ve committed as I’m slowly being skinned will give me some comfort from a demon.

No one said going to heaven would be easy

If it’s true, Catholic Heaven is a great thing. You will spend eternity staring into the face of God in unimaginable, never-ending bliss and all you had to do to earn that privilege followed some simple rules on EArt. Simple. But in practice we are weak and flawed creatures, and our salvation must be earned through discipline and constant fellowship with the Big Guy. It’s not exactly fun, but it feels like it to me Industrial fair. (Except for people who have never heard of Catholicism, but that’s a whole other bucket of worms.)

Another way of looking at the Catholic concept of sin is that existence is a test we are destined to fail and that only the mercy of God’s forgiving nature can save us (provided you confess and atone at exactly the right time). Catholic teaching is so literally clear Everyone is a sinner, even little babies. It’s strange but reassuring because we’re all on the same sinking ship and anyone who has a “holier than you” attitude or prides themselves on their goodness is also committing a sin! (Take that, televangelist!) I’m not sure how a loving God fits into the concept of a Soul I’ll spend eternity in agony for taking His name in vain, but I know one thing about God: He hates the same things I hate. Shit. Another sin.