How to Survive Horror Movies
I would like to describe myself as a fairly independent person.
I don’t need anyone to help me wash. I make my bed every morning. I make sure most of my shoes end up on my shoe rack and my trash is always taken out before it overflows. Sure, I might need to look up a tutorial on how to change tires, and I’ll probably always call my mom when I need relationship help (mainly because she loves listening to the drama), but there’s one thing I can’t do on my own — the only thing I do would decide never doing it alone is watching a horror movie.
Some would say I have an “overactive imagination”. That mixed with minimal fear and irrationality can create a less-than-optimal horror experience. On Halloween last year I was forced to watch the 1996 original “Scream”. movie and I remember not being able to sleep without lights for a few days. Even “A Quiet Place” had me cowering in utter fear until my friends told me it was okay to look at the screen again.
With Halloween just around the corner I can already say I’ll be giving in to one screamer movie too much, so I can say I’ll never really enjoy the thriller genius of Stephen King or Jordan Peele, but I can say that I learned some helpful tips and tricks for surviving watching a horror movie.
- Not
Of course, the easiest way to avoid becoming absolutely traumatized with kidnappers, murderers, demons, and puppets coming to life is to simply avoid all encounters with them in the first place. As we all (hopefully) know, we have a choice to watch this movie. So if you know you’re going to end up peeing on your seat or have absolutely horrible nightmares, your best bet is to avoid it all together.
- Go with people you LOVE
While it would be great to end my list of tips by number one, we all know that when you have horror loving friends, saying no just isn’t an option. If option one fails (which most likely will be because FOMO and peer pressure love hearing you scream in a crowded theater), your second best option is to go with people who actually do to protect She. I recently went to the free screening of Black Phone at UC San Diego (for those of you who were there at 9pm, I’m so sorry you had to see me in a faint moment), and though With my eyes closed for more than half of the film, I was walking with people who were fully prepared for me to just slump in my seat. A friend of mine had already seen the movie twice and made a point of pulling my head down whenever a jumpscare popped up (thanks, Amanda, love you). In summary, the same people who dragged you to your metaphorical death should also be the ones helping you dig your coffin.
- Don’t sit alone
This one may seem insignificant, but it’s actually the most underrated survival hack.
Think about it: you’re in a crowded movie theater watching a movie you don’t really want to see, and you knows you will be scared to death. The worst thing that can happen is sitting next to someone you don’t know – someone who doesn’t meet the criteria for tip and trick number two. Worse, you could be sitting next to an empty chair — a dark abyss of loneliness, reminding you that it’s you are alone, or at least not surrounded by those you trust. Sitting between your friends guarantees you security cuddles and endless protection from any antagonist this horror will throw at you.
- cover your eyes and ears
Now that you’ve safely made it to the cinema and are sitting between your awesome friends who will protect you with their lives, you can officially start… “watching?”
I’ve found that the best way to save yourself from horror movies is to simply not watch the movie. It becomes apparent when scary things are happening, so when you notice the music slowing down, the lights dimming, and the main character doing something they probably should be doing Not do cover your eyes and ears. What I personally like to do is look down and put my fingers in my ears, then said besties protecting you can let you know when the scare is over and you can get back to the non-terrifying look parts.
Of course, none of us can prevent nightmares or lack of sleep from occurring when we get home after the theater, but maybe these four tips will help you get through October a little longer (but I’d recommend sticking with tip number one and keeping it simple Watch Ratatouille At home even).
Photo by Felix Mooneeran on Unsplash