San Diego Moms: How to Incorporate Inclusive Language
Studies show that early inclusion education helps children and families thrive, but it’s not just about implementing laws or rules that encourage society to be more inclusive. It includes the type of language we use.
I spoke to Stephanie Levich, Founder and President of Family Match Consulting, an egg donor, sperm donor and surrogate locator service and author of From the Start, a children’s book about inclusive family building. Levich, who was adopted, has a life purpose, to remove the stigma around how families are made and make our world more inclusive.
Levich said there are different reasons why adults should teach inclusion to children and how families are formed.
“One in eight American couples experiences infertility, and that doesn’t include same-sex couples or single parents who voluntarily turn to fertility treatments or adoption to help start their families,” she added. “Millions of people have used collaborative family-building methods to become parents, so it’s important to be mindful and inclusive, even for those who haven’t built their families using these methods, when discussing how families with children can be founded. ”
We talked about an explanation I’m sorry to say I’m guilty of – telling my kids that babies come out of mommy’s womb. Levich said the explanation was an oversimplification and that children would benefit more from understanding the different birthing methods.
“Parents should be mindful and intentional about the language they use with a child to avoid overgeneralizing these concepts,” Levich said. “It’s important for parents to consider that their child’s classmate may have two mothers, a neighbor may be planning an adoption, or a teammate on the child’s baseball team may have been born using an egg donation.”
Levich often uses her own upbringing as an example of how to teach inclusion and the benefits of it.
“While I was too young to remember the first time [my parents] shared my story with me, I will always remember how lovingly and joyfully they described my adoption,” Levich said. “They explained that my birth mother loved me and wanted me to have the very best life, and she knew my parents would give me something that I believe made me a more confident and confident adult.” “
Levich offers four examples of how adults can correct their language to be more inclusive:
Exclusive: Where are your mom and dad?
Included: Where are your parents? Or where are your adults?
Exclusive: Babies grow in their mother’s womb.
Included: Babies grow in a belly.
Exclusive: If mom and dad love each other very much, they can have a baby together.
Included: People can have babies when they want to become parents, or families can be formed in many different and amazing ways.
Exclusive: Do you get your blue eyes from your mother or father?
Included: you have beautiful blue eyes
“By normalizing the conversation about family configurations and the different ways families can be formed, we can help build a future generation of people who are comfortable and secure in their conception and birth history,” Levich said. “By removing any stigma associated with starting a family and infertility, we can also help tomorrow’s hopeful parents, who may be in the clutches of infertility or choosing avenues such as adoption to start their families, feel more supported and seen, and less alone.”
For more information about Stephanie Levich, visit familymatchconsulting.com or fromthestartbook.com.
San Diego Moms comes out every Saturday. Do you have an idea for a story? email hoaq@alexander-nguyenofsandiego.com and follow her on Instagram at @hoawritessd.