Sebastien Haller: Borussia Dortmund forward on cancer diagnosis and comeback

On July 18, 2022, less than two weeks after joining Borussia Dortmund, £27.4million striker Sebastien Haller pulled out of training after feeling unwell.

He hadn’t been feeling well for a few weeks but thought it was a digestive problem or possibly a hernia. A testicular tumor was diagnosed within 24 hours.

The 28-year-old Ivory Coast international, who joined West Ham in 2019 for a then-club-record £45million, has been treated, which included chemotherapy and two surgeries.

Ahead of the Champions League round of 16 first leg against Chelsea, Haller sat down with BBC Sport to discuss the impact of his cancer diagnosis.

Haller had to clarify what he was being told – but even when the word cancer was mentioned, it didn’t frighten him.

“The first day I didn’t know it was cancer,” he says. “They just said ‘tumour’. But I’m not a doctor. I didn’t know exactly what it meant. He said yes. So I said just say it.

“Of course you realize that something really serious is happening, that a lot of things can change. But the urologist helped me not to be afraid. He said I could heal well. I took all his words for granted.”

Haller is father, brother and son. He is also a husband. His first call was to his wife, Priscilla, who was on vacation with the couple’s three children at the time.

“There was no time for emotions,” he recalls. “She had the kids and I had some other dates. I had to be honest. ,Please sit down. I have something serious to tell you.’ It had to be quick so she could process it.

“Unfortunately, that’s the position when you’re married to someone. You have to share everything. You can’t avoid just a few parts of the problem.”

Haller did not shy away from making his trip public. He posted pictures of his hospital bed on social media. Another appeared bald of him as his chemotherapy started to take effect.

“The pictures on social media reflect me quite well,” says Haller. “If I was alone, just with my wife, it would probably be different. But once you have children, you don’t have time to think badly because they need you. No matter what happened, you have to show them everything is fine.

“Of course you have some bad moments, but I don’t think that was the lowest part. Even though it wasn’t easy emotionally because I was sick, all the attention was focused on me, not on other people, not on people from my family who are also suffering, no one cares about them, which is a big problem.

“It was really complicated for her. They saw me change – just my face. That was the hardest part. You feel more stressed and worried about others.”

The football world closed in on Haller, who was blown away by the messages of support he received. One came from his old boss at Ajax, Erik ten Hag. Haller never doubted his return. For Dortmund, however, he had pity.

“I thought, ‘They bought a player and after two weeks I can’t play, I don’t know how long,'” he says. “What a bad deal. Of course I wanted to come back and give back the support they gave me. That was really important. They gave me something before I could give them anything. I was sick and they supported me. But I always knew I would make it, a lot of it was mental and the second surgery made it a little bit more difficult, but I knew I would come back.

Haller is happy to be back in the “special” atmosphere of the dressing room. For him, scoring goals is the best feeling in the world.

“In this moment there is nothing more important than you,” he says. “Everyone’s looking at you. Everyone’s screaming. You’re on a cloud.”

Haller is now looking positively to the future. Cancer does not breed negativity. Neither has his unfortunate stint in the Premier League at West Ham, the only time in his career when scoring became a problem.

“I have nothing to prove,” says Haller. “Not everyone can have all the information as to why a player isn’t playing well and nobody cares anyway. You are on the pitch and you have to perform.

“I didn’t show the best version of myself at West Ham and it’s a shame. It could have been better, but that’s in the past.

“If you focus on the things that didn’t work instead of thinking about the good things you have ahead of you, you’re wasting time. Every game in the Champions League is something special.”

Haller concludes with a message. If he, a super fit professional athlete at the peak of his career, can develop a tumor, anyone can.

“The most important thing is not to think that it can only happen to other people,” he says. “I was one of them seven months ago. I was fit and fine. Within three months the level I had of this tumor was really high.

“We need to check that. You can’t be ashamed. We not only check ourselves, but also our family and friends and the people around us. It can save many lives.”