How To Give Peer-To-Peer Feedback That Sharpens Skills And Doesn’t Sting

Feedback is invaluable in a corporate environment. Feedback makes a difference. It leads to more efficiency, more harmony and ultimately more success.

However, studies have shown that people often find it difficult to provide them. One such study was conducted by Francesca Gino, a professor of business administration at Harvard Business School. She just found that four out of 212 people would tell anyone they were talking to that they had a red mark from a marker on their nose.

Your conclusion?

“People overestimate the negative consequences of giving feedback for themselves and underestimate the benefits for the other person,” she said in a post on the institution’s website. “This misunderstanding persists even when the feedback provider and recipient know each other well.”

And indeed, it’s a delicate little dance we all engage in when it comes to offering constructive criticism. Nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news. Nobody wants to jeopardize a relationship. But it can be done. In addition, it must be done, especially in a business environment.

I’d like to think I’ve reached a point where I can provide feedback in a healthy and productive way. That’s because I don’t see myself as a top-down bully, but rather as someone who forges relationships.

And indeed, we have an experienced, collaborative corporate team of eight at our headquarters, in addition to our real estate managers not only in Illinois but also in Tennessee and Texas.

So that’s where it starts – with open, honest relationships that are characterized by constant communication. That way, potentially difficult conversations are a little less difficult. That way, if I criticize his work, it doesn’t feel like someone is being called into the principal’s office; rather, it is part of everyday conversation in a long-term relationship.

My approach to offering such criticism is something that has been described as “Kiss/Kick/Kiss” method.

That is, you start by offering some praise and pointing out all the positive things a particular person brings to the table, then address the issue at hand matter-of-factly and offer constructive criticism: “Maybe there could have been a different approach” , “I noticed that,” etc. Then end the conversation with more praise.

I would like to emphasize that I do not feel obliged to offer constructive criticism on a regular basis. I think our business is running smoothly. But surely there are times when it’s necessary to point out where someone may be falling short and how they can be brought up to speed.

That’s how it was with one of our property managers six years ago. She was energetic and enthusiastic and generally performed at a high level. However, there was room for improvement when it came to following up on prospects and leads for leasing.

As I sat down with her, I spoke about how her team, under her direction, had created a great looking property. Then I mentioned that we wanted to see faster and continuous follow-up of prospects, leading to more leases and potentially a higher lease conversion rate.

I then went back to her great interpersonal skills and the positive feedback we had received on her personal dealings with potential clients when they came to the property.

Again: kiss/kick/kiss

The conversation had the desired effect as she shored up that single flaw in her day-to-day performance.

Others have mentioned the importance of providing feedback face to face, as things can get lost in translation when offered via phone, SMS or platforms like Zoom, Skype and Facetime. I wholeheartedly agree, although I don’t think my ability to make such points was severely impacted during the pandemic when face-to-face communication was impossible.

Still others point out how important it is for a leader be precise when discussing where improvements need to be made to avoid confusion, and that it is no less important to act as quickly as possible to prevent a small problem from growing into a bigger one.

Additionally, a leader must ensure that there is a dialogue and not a one-way conversation, as the employee in question may provide critical context on a particular issue. Perhaps something is going on inside or outside of the workplace that the manager has missed. Other factors may have come into play.

The final result

Offering feedback cannot and should not be a negative interaction. As in a youngest Business News Daily post:

You often get back the energy you give, and a negative attitude often leads to unproductive responses. If you continue to remain encouraging to your team members, your feedback is more likely to stay.

Entrepreneur Michel Koopman put it differently in a Forbes post. He stressed that executives don’t have to be friends with their reports, but would do well to at least be friendly—that’s what those at the top of the org chart should take as a guide earn the respect and trust of those below them. As he put it, leadership is difficult because it “requires both heart and mind.”

Can’t agree more. And that’s especially true when it comes to offering constructive criticism.

Michael H. Zaransky is the founder and CEO of MZ Capital Partners in Northbrook, Illinois. Founded in 2005, the company deals in apartment buildings.