How to Have a Better Relationship With Your Teenager

One of the most difficult aspects of parenting is the uncertainty about the future. As much as you want (and try) When you do the right thing, it can be difficult to predict the end result of your efforts will be once After all, your child has grown up and moved away from home. Parenting when you are a teenager can feel particularly stressful as a teenager will increasingly independent and begin to distance themselves from their parents. Suffice it to say that parents are wondering what kind of relationship they will ultimately have with their adult children – and if there is anything we can do now to influence that.

in one Recent study the Following 1,631 participants from sixth grade to age 22, the researchers looked at how parent-teen relationships evolved over time and how likely participants reported having a close relationship with their parents at the end of the study. What they found were teenagers reporting a warm, involved relationship with parents who practiced effective discipline were more likely to say they were in a close relationship at age 22.

In contrast, teenagers who reported a change in their parental relationship over time, in which their parents became less warm and less engaged while also practicing harsh or unpredictable discipline, were less likely to report a close relationship as adults their parents had.

How your relationship with your teen changes over time

“Adolescence is a stage in life when young people strive for independence and autonomy,” said Shichen Fang, a researcher at Concordia University and one of the study’s authors. One of the effects of this increased autonomy is that “you see a decline in the parent-child relationship, both quantitatively and qualitatively”. For teenagers, their world expands to include social life and interests outside of their family, while for parents, the stakes of parenting can seem much higher The closer her teenager gets to adulthood.

“Our research has shown that parenting can change a lot during the teenage years 😛Adolescents often express less warmth and affection, spend less time with their teenagers, and become more disciplined.” Greg Fosco, a Penn State professor and one of the study’s authors, said in one press release. While the pressures of parenthood can make you feel like these changes are necessary, it can take a long timenegative impact on the parent-child relationship.

This is especially true when the parent-child relationship changes from a warm, loving relationship in childhood to a tough, less loving relationship in the teenage years. “We were able to show that if the parent-child relationship declines too much, it leads to a worse outcome,” said Fang.

The importance of a warm relationship with your teenager

In the study, the researchers could ask the participants how much time they spent with their parents, how often their parents expressed their affection or appreciation for their teenager and what kind of discipline they used. Teens who reported having close relationships with their parents as adults reported spending more time with their parents, receiving more affection and appreciation from their parents, and being disciplined in a way that was consistent, fair and without harshness.

In practice, this can look like spending time together as a family, eating and engaging in activities together on a regular basis, or spending time talking about homework and school activities. “IIt’s not always ‘I love you,'” Fang said. “It could show affection in other ways. Children need to feel that you love them.”

When disciplining a teenager, the researchers examined three distinct components: whether the disciplining was consistent, whether teenagers were given a clear rationale for the rules and discipline, and whether or not the disciplining was harsh. Teens who reported consistent, non-rigorous discipline for which they understood the reasons were also more likely to report close relationships with their parents than adults.